Learn to let go of your thoughts

What does it mean to let go? Here is a Zen story that may help find an answer.

Two devout monks, Tanzan and Ekido, were once travelling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling. Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.

“Come on, girl,” said Tanzan, the older of the two. Much to the horror of Ekido, he at once lifted her in his arms, carried her over the mud and gently dropped her on the other side. The monks went their way.

Ekido did not speak again until that night, when they reached a lodging temple. Then he could no longer restrain himself. “We monks don’t go near females,” he told Tanzan, “especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?”

“I left the girl there,” said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?”

This is exactly what most of us do and suffer from. We cling on to the moment long after it has passed. Holding onto thoughts, words, and actions does no good. This, in fact, is at the root of all our problems, in relationships, careers, and life generally. What does it mean to let go? Forgetting what has hurt or delighted you? Forgiving the people that hurt you? Yes and no.

More importantly, letting go requires one to look at oneself dispassionately. Observe the thoughts from a distance. And acknowledge what you are thinking and feeling, without the shackles of morality. You don’t judge yourself.

When your thoughts turn to action, that is when you need to apply your values, ethics, and morality. Allow your thoughts to flow.

Be aware of your emotions, including anger, jealousy, happiness, and fulfilment, without passing a judgement. Then acknowledge them as your own.

Practice observing yourself. You can feel a myriad of emotions at any given time. They are all your thoughts and emotions. They occur in response to unfolding situations and events. They do not define you, but rather reflect your mental state at the time.

Be mindful of them. Acknowledge them. You neither have to justify them nor defy them. When we address them without resisting them, they tend to melt away.

Letting go requires you to lend a ear to yourself; be kind to yourself.