<p>‘What you say can preserve life or destroy it,’ is a precept from the Book of Proverbs in the Bible. It warns us against venting our anger on someone in a tempestuous tirade. Before we know it, we have lashed out mercilessly and said things that can never be taken back. Indeed, we may not want to withdraw our words, instead declaring proudly, “I gave him a piece of my mind” or “I told her exactly what I thought of her.”</p>.<p>Besides, it is not necessary to talk loud and long to wound people’s feelings. Biting sarcasm, a curt reply to a query, a bad-tempered “Don’t bother me,” in response to a request, can be just as hurtful. Often, it is those closest to us who are at the receiving end of our rudeness, since we are irritable after a stressful day.</p>.<p>While we can perhaps justify this lack of restraint on grounds of extreme provocation, what is unpardonable is that other dreadful use to which we put our tongues: malicious gossip.</p>.<p>This includes spreading baseless rumours, and repeating something shared in strict confidence; also (expressly forbidden in the 9th of the 10 Commandments), falsely defaming our neighbours. Such distasteful discussions tear a person’s character to shreds and ruin his or her reputation. We must resist the urge to say, “Have you heard the latest?” and “She’s a nice girl, but...”</p>.<p>Not as evil as verbal vituperation, but still best avoided, is our obsession with ourselves. We may not boast about our achievements, but we go on about the problems that plague us. None of us has been singled out and marked for misfortune. Rather, as Shakespeare’s Hamlet reminds us, every human being experiences the “thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to”. Let us therefore desist from discoursing on our cares and concerns, opinions and objectives. </p>.<p>Even a conversation devoid of slander or selfishness is harmful if it wastes time: a precious commodity. The moment we recall that we could be more gainfully employed than indulging in idle chatter, we ought to immediately refrain from rambling.</p>.<p>Does all this mean that we should muzzle ourselves? Certainly not! If silence is golden, so is speech. We only need to tame our tongues. </p><p><em>(Disclaimer: The views expressed above are the author's own. They do not necessarily reflect the views of DH.)</em></p>
<p>‘What you say can preserve life or destroy it,’ is a precept from the Book of Proverbs in the Bible. It warns us against venting our anger on someone in a tempestuous tirade. Before we know it, we have lashed out mercilessly and said things that can never be taken back. Indeed, we may not want to withdraw our words, instead declaring proudly, “I gave him a piece of my mind” or “I told her exactly what I thought of her.”</p>.<p>Besides, it is not necessary to talk loud and long to wound people’s feelings. Biting sarcasm, a curt reply to a query, a bad-tempered “Don’t bother me,” in response to a request, can be just as hurtful. Often, it is those closest to us who are at the receiving end of our rudeness, since we are irritable after a stressful day.</p>.<p>While we can perhaps justify this lack of restraint on grounds of extreme provocation, what is unpardonable is that other dreadful use to which we put our tongues: malicious gossip.</p>.<p>This includes spreading baseless rumours, and repeating something shared in strict confidence; also (expressly forbidden in the 9th of the 10 Commandments), falsely defaming our neighbours. Such distasteful discussions tear a person’s character to shreds and ruin his or her reputation. We must resist the urge to say, “Have you heard the latest?” and “She’s a nice girl, but...”</p>.<p>Not as evil as verbal vituperation, but still best avoided, is our obsession with ourselves. We may not boast about our achievements, but we go on about the problems that plague us. None of us has been singled out and marked for misfortune. Rather, as Shakespeare’s Hamlet reminds us, every human being experiences the “thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to”. Let us therefore desist from discoursing on our cares and concerns, opinions and objectives. </p>.<p>Even a conversation devoid of slander or selfishness is harmful if it wastes time: a precious commodity. The moment we recall that we could be more gainfully employed than indulging in idle chatter, we ought to immediately refrain from rambling.</p>.<p>Does all this mean that we should muzzle ourselves? Certainly not! If silence is golden, so is speech. We only need to tame our tongues. </p><p><em>(Disclaimer: The views expressed above are the author's own. They do not necessarily reflect the views of DH.)</em></p>