Make care-givers your companions

Oasis

Care-giving to an invalid or to an aged person isn’t easy. A spouse or a family member could be roped into this role, either by choice or the lack of it but to step in as a reluctant caregiver in the absence of anyone else.

Sometimes, especially in current times, when nuclear families are the norm, supplanting the tradition of joint families, when there was always someone on hand to offer a helping hand when needed, we find many who require care, left to fend for themselves, perhaps due to denial of a need for a carer, or even through being a loner in spite of being a resident in a senior citizens’ community.

In many cases, when a spouse has passed on and the living partner needs a carer-cum-companion, and family isn’t able to be present to oversee the unfolding future, due to constraints of having made their lives and careers elsewhere, more especially after marriage and creating a family life of their own, if finances permit, a hired caregiver is appointed.

In my opinion making a companion of one’s care giver is a rewarding necessity to establish an amicable relationship. Many of the latter have very basic education; financial necessity pushes them into such positions, come from a different social background and status, and therefore, it is up to the person being cared for, to involve such a helper in daily activities of the home, being mentors to them to improve their capabilities, widen their horizons, seek their confidence by exchanging life’s stories and experiences, and treating them as equals in the household. It’s amazing how these small steps of a caring outreach from the one cared for can bring on a degree of closeness and affection, enhance diligence of duty, abilities and skills, encourage anticipative thoughtfulness coupled with a subjective mutual understanding which drives the psyche of both!

Days will come when camaraderie and bonhomie make for much fun and joy, others will come too, when spirits can flag or the tiredness of incessantly sharing the same space tends to be claustrophobic.

At such times, a maturity of acceptance from both care giver and receiver, is the answer. Laugh together, cry together, realise the need for one another, and move along through each day.