From anxiety to abuse, Kubbra Sait's memoir reveals all

Sait has not let the traumatic events of her life stop her from reaching her goals

In 2020, when the Covid-19 pandemic was at its peak and people were making banana bread or whipping up Dalgona coffee, actress Kubbra Sait was on a journey of self-discovery. Her recently published memoir, "Open Book: Not Quite a Memoir," is a result of that introspection.

Contrary to her present optimistic and feisty avatar, in her memoir, Sait reveals that she was a timid child who was bullied and body-shamed.

Now, setting benchmarks in the Indian and global entertainment industry, she credits her mother and a person she calls her mentor, for shaping her into what she is now.

Calling herself a "product of a lot of changes, inside out," Sait told DH, "My mother took me to a therapist when I was just eight or nine. She didn't listen to my family or society or stop sending me to school."

"When I met my mentor, I was broken and shattered, but he made me who I am. A child who could not speak to anyone now talks to hundreds of people on the stage."

In her memoir, she opens up unabashedly about everything, from the sexual abuse at the hands of a family friend, an abortion after a one-night stand and a series of failed relationships.

Replete with irreverent humour, you can pick up "Open Book" and start reading it from anywhere, any chapter.

"There's a chapter, 'I called him uncle,' about abuse. There is a chapter called 'cat person' because I am one. Another one, 'I was born to play Phara,' is about Phara Kaean, my role in the science-fiction drama series 'Foundation," she said.

While the different chapters of her book are defining segments of her life, Sait is clear that they didn't change the narrative of her life.

"I don't think any experience in my life has been wasted," she said.

She is most famous for her role as Cuckoo in Netflix's "Sacred Games". She has also starred in projects like "Ready" (2011), "I Love NY" (2015), "Sultan" (2016), "Gully Boy" (2019) and "Dolly Kitty Aur Woh Chamakte Sitare" (2020).

Sait said that her life experiences, whether good or bad, have shaped her acting.

"To grow up from a place of hurt to put it into a character, without judging the character, is something I am able to do. That's my job as an actor and thank god for the experiences as I wouldn't be doing what I am doing today if it weren't for those experiences. It's a process where I use my body, my experiences and my emotions to play a character on screen."

To say the least, Sait has certainly managed to rise like a phoenix by putting all her past experiences behind her.

(Gurpreet Kaur is a journalist who writes on lifestyle, entertainment and culture)