The misspelt menu saga

HUMOUR

My family and I decided to go out for dinner. It turned out to be a side-splitting evening. If you are curious, I promise to make you smile. Sometimes, we make spelling mistakes unintentionally, but this is hilarious. Here we go.

It all started with the menu. English is not my forte, but I have got this (annoying) habit of doing a ‘spell check’ on everything that I read. What you read below is not a figment of my flamboyant imagination, but reality. Here is a warning. If you misspell every word after reading this, please do not hold me responsible. All I promise you is that it will tickle your funny bone.

Allow me to take you through the evening. We were given a ‘la carta’ menu. They had ‘triditional’ biryani cooked with hand ‘pouded’ masala and ‘refiened oil’. Besides the other dishes, there was ‘tondori promfret’ and ‘chopped suey’. That’s not all. There was also the ‘Great Indian Barque’ and some ‘other mugli stuff’. It also stated that it had ‘landmark’ dishes of ‘mashroomed’ fried rice, ‘Pariss’ rice, ‘Chinese-Hong Kong’ rice, ‘Singa-puri’ noodles, ‘yagg curry’ and ‘butter nana’.

Wait, that’s not all. It also boasted of ‘frayed fish’ and ‘gawliflower’ manchurian. All this was supposed to be brought to you from ‘the best kitchen in the world’. You could also order your ‘takeways’ food in ‘highgenic’ packing. I know, at times, reality outstrips imagination.

Don’t go away till you read the rest. For dessert, you could choose a ‘caramel clustered’ and a variety of ‘ice screams’. If you wished to have a cold drink, they had ‘Thumbsup’, ‘Spirit’ and ‘my can Pepsi’. They also urged us to try the ‘chief specially’ and it promised to ‘tinkle’ our ‘taste bods’ and make it an unforgettable experience. At the bottom of the menu it was written in bold letters ‘Once order is placed it cannot be concealed’. Oh, and their motto boldly stated, ‘YOU FUNCTION, WE HAVE SOLUTION’. What more can I say? Someone really got their spelling mixed up. Talk about ‘alphabet soup’!

As we were leaving, I saw this sign behind the cashier. ‘Teared’ notes not ‘expected’ here and ‘alcoholic liquor’ is not allowed.

All said and done, fortunately, the food was not like the menu of misspells. I really did enjoy my dinner of a nice tasty biryani. This is the only dinner in my entire life that made me cry; tears of laughter, of course. It was worth every rupee that I spent, for I went home grinning all the way. I hope the above didn’t make you sit up and tear your hair in agony.

Indeed, humour is the sunshine of the mind. Keep smiling, as I ‘live’ you to ‘brash’ up on my ‘spellllings’. Pity that I didn’t heed the advice that I gave, in the beginning of this article.

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