It's a mess of a mush

teri meri kahaani
Hindi (U/A)
Cast: Priyanka Chopra, Shahid Kapoor
Director: Kunal Kohli

She (Priyanka No. 1) is an actress with an inbuilt blush machine. He (Shahid No.1 ) is a guitarist waiting to strum it big. Both meet on a train. And he straightaway barges into her heart.

Happy ending? Sorry, Shahid also bumps into a triangle in the form of his neighbour (Prachi Desai, mostly peeping through windows).

That was in the 60s.

Priyanka No. 2 studies in present-day London, while Shahid No. 2 has just broken up with his mess of a girlfriend (Neha Sharma, in a fairly good bitchy show).

Both meet and tweet till they fall in love. Any problem? Well, director Kunal Kohli isn’t done with his time machine yet. So he travels back to 1910 and plants our lovers in pre-independent Lahore.

And we have Priyanka No. 3 (her blush machine intact) romancing a shayari-spouting Shahid, who is maha brawny this time. Just one look at any woman and she is already in bed with him. A magnanimous seducer, Shahid also makes room for white women.

Slightly better than the previous trysts, the third tale scores high on the syrupy scale too, taking the song-and-dance drill inside the jail.

Shahid and Priyanka try their best to make sense of this “thrice upon a time” roundabout ride. But in the end, it’s much mush about nothing.