What women don't want

It is time the world stops fretting over what women want. Ponder over what they don’t want, urges Swatee Jog.

It’s that time of the year again when the world will go all pink, dewy eyed, and reams will be written about women.  Functions will be organised, festivals held, competitions conducted and women achievers felicitated. To think of it, is it not weird to have one day dedicated to what would normally be just the existence of (almost) half the humankind?

In our country, girls are treated, more often than not, like some sort of commodity that has to be shaped in a certain way, only to be married off at an age the society deems suitable.

The parents, too, are pestered: “Oh, you had a girl? Great. Perhaps the next one will be a boy.” “Where does your daughter study? Is it co-ed?” “What career is she choosing? Journalism? Oh! Isn’t that too dangerous for a girl?” “When are you getting her married? Isn’t she 23 already? Why wait?” Once married, the girl is questioned some more: “When’s the baby coming?” “Only one? Take a second chance.”

Most women would squirm at all these questions, although only few manage to actually rebuke the person asking them. No wonder then that there are still many bastions in the world where we find women venturing for the first time. It is like a whiff of fresh air to know that some of the top banks and financial institutions in the country today are headed by women.

However, some bastions still remain unconquered, not because of lack of ability on part of women, but because of lack of will on part of those in authority.
Women have never really expected special treatment. They rarely get the ‘women only’ seats reserved in buses; most are occupied by men.

Very few women have placed their bets on the women’s reservation bill ever getting passed in parliament, for lack of - what else - the will of the majority (men) in there.
History is replete with examples of women who have strived to be treated equally - not differently - with men. Charlotte Whitton, the late Canadian feminist, had said that women have to work twice as hard to be considered half as good.

Worldover, women have fought for basic things - things that on another just planet would be considered natural rights - be it the right to vote, inheritance, choose her life partner, have children, demand equal wages, equal opportunities and more.
When a woman yearns for equality, she is very much aware of her limitations - in terms of her physical capabilities or responsibilities of child-bearing and nurturing a family. All she asks for is to be accepted for what she is.

It is time the world stops fretting over what women want and ponder over what she actually doesn’t want.

nWe don’t want to be treated specially and then, be subjected to humiliation.

nWe don’t want to be objectified by the society, the media, or anybody for that matter.

nWe don’t want to be discriminated against at home, when it comes to education, career options or job locations.

nWe don’t want to be commented upon for the colour of our skin, height, weight, the clothes we wear or our appearance. It’s nobodys business.

nWe don’t want marriage to be treated like a business deal.

nWe don’t want age to be the deciding factor when it comes to when we should get married, have children (or not have them), learn music or travel the world.

nWe don’t want to be typecast as being too meek or too aggressive. Ambitious women and women who demand perfection at work don’t want to be labelled aggressive and rigid. They want to be looked at as leaders, irrespective of their gender.

nWe don’t want to be pressured into becoming ‘Yummy Mummy’ post childbirth. Not that we don’t want to get back in shape, but we can do without the pressure.