JOIN USThey are a unique breed by themselves. They stagger you. They stump you. They even spook you. No! It’s not the canine pets I am alluding at.
It’s actually their wacko owners.
You can see them extravagantly posting pictures of their pedigree canine pets all over their Facebook pages.
One picture had a pet, piddling against a roadside tree with the caption, “A dog’s idea of heaven – A mile full of trees and a belly full of urine!” Gosh!
If you find this downright ludicrous, then sample this graphic narration by a friend. “I can never forget that momentous day when I first set my eyes on him.
My li’l bundle-of-joy lay nestled in a crib, cushioned by soft fabric layers. When this cutie-pie looked at me with his glassy limpid eyes… oh my… the profound joy experienced can never equal any world’s treasure!”
Now, if you are thinking this racy description was on recalling her past moments post childbirth, you couldn’t be more wrong. She was actually expatiating about her Pomeranian pet.
If this friend’s ravings have ecstatic overtones, the other friend goes all senti-menti when she talks of her pet, born with some congenital heart ailment.
With ineffable angst and agony, she talks of her pet, going all cranky due to antibiotics that he is on since months.
She bewails saying, “Instead of witnessing his sufferings, wish I could sell him off to some kind soul. Then again no one is prepared to take him, as he isn’t endowed with good looks! Actually he looks like stray mongrel though of pure Alsatian breed!” (Man! I had thought looks mattered in humans, at least to create the initial impression. I didn’t know even in quadrupeds it mattered!)
Then there is another friend, who rants about her 15-year-old Dachshund’s old-age problems.
She says the fella walks around with wobbly gait, owing to hazy vision caused by cataract in his eyes. It seems he has even turned stone-deaf!
Indeed, it was enlightening to hear of canine old-age ailments! Then there is this buddy of mine, a diehard fashion junkie. Naturally, she finds dollops of delight in decking up her Doberman too in delectable dresses!
Never mind the fella piddles and soils them in no time.
But the one, who beats all the dog lovers hollow, is my childhood friend.
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Interestingly, she takes her pet along even when she is on holiday jaunts.
In one of those trips, sensing her pet feeling uncomfy in the dickey seat of their zooming vehicle, she shifted herself to the dickey, allowing him to sprawl comfortably.
It seems, all through the journey, in that dirt-fraught dingy dickey, she was looking a spectacle by squatting awkwardly, sneezing miserably and breathing heavily.
Now hearing these stories, you wonder what more weird stuffs these wacko dog-lovers would indulge in next?
Maybe swapping their residence with their pets, by shifting themselves to the dog kennel!