The Peed Piper of Nagpur

 As the urinational discourse gains heft there is bound to be a standing committee.

 There is no need to be pissed off over Nitin Gadkari’s urinary train of thought. For long, our peeple have taken things in their own hands. If our four-legged friends love lamp-posts, we are enamoured of transformers and street corners. The luxuriant growth at these places proves the minister’s fertility treatment.

A wag commented that they might be trying to see if the stuff can power the transformers what with all the blackouts. Now, the minister himself has held forth on the transformative nature of widdle. He knows he is not pissing in the wind. But he has not disclosed how he does it: whether he rushes to his garden to answer nature’s call or if there is a mechanism.

Set for a truant monsoon, here is an ideal solution. Besides, given the ballooning urea subsidy, it should really come in handy. There are also the inter-state disputes over irrigation projects to be considered. People can be asked to head over to fields and just let go. Special transport can be organised. The only worry could be the holding power; otherwise, they will go back to the roadsides.

Supply should never pose a problem. It has always been on a rising curve. Apart from the demographic dividend, the stress created by bad governance has led to an explosion in diabetes. This necessitates emptying the bladder quite often. The saffron peeple have it all worked out. For the long term, a baba in their fold has a strategy to multiply the male of the species. The only thing left is a blueprint for collection and distribution. How about something like the rainwater harvesting scheme? And how can we leave out the app guys? Surely, the appy-go-lucky peeple will come up with something for the jet set.
As the urinational discourse gains heft there is bound to be a standing committee. There will be a sitting and the matter will be dropped.

Since we keep doing it all the time, in public (mostly) or private, there is no need for a subsidy. For long, these peeple have been mooing about the wonders of cow urine and dung. After all the gas, comes the man’s turn. The next obvious solution for our agricultural woes, one of our rulers is going to come up with is the elder brother of urine, that which is ejected through the intestines. Come peeple, hold your nose and let’s give this embattled government a leg up.

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