No right or wrong decisions

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Dear Madam,

I am a 2nd year BBA student and interested in sports management. However, I dream of becoming a professional footballer and pursue a job to sustain myself.

Considering the scenario of Indian football, it is a risky option with many Indian parents against it. So I am in a fix as to what I can do.

I need work experience to pursue MBA abroad and it requires at least three years of work experience and I don’t want to later regret in life that I didn’t give it a try to fulfill my dream of being a professional footballer.

I am really confused. Is it a dead end? Do I have some hope? I also do realise that it’s up to me to perform in order to become a full time footballer. I really need advice. Please help.
Regards
Anonymous

Dear potential footballer,
There are some choices in front of you. You are at a fork and you need to choose the path you want to go down. There are no right and wrong answers. Any path that you choose will bring with it some advantages, and some disadvantages.

You need to take stock of what you think is a plus of going down a certain path, and what is a minus of going down that path, and then evaluate where your relative gain is more. Remember the perception of cost or benefit has to be yours, and yours alone. Everyone will have a different perception of what is an advantage and what is not.

Doing this exercise will force you to evaluate your internal reasons for liking a particular path, and also your priorities and values in life. What will give you happiness is a question only you can answer. Once you have made your selection, you would logically be choosing the path that will give you more happiness.

Ultimately parents want their children to be happy. The dissonance arises because they feel they know what will make their child happy, especially in the absence of the child having given it any thought.

But if you spend time on understanding what you want and what will make your happy, you can then convince your parents on what path is best for you. So think about it…
All the best!

Dear Madam,
I am currently pursuing my engineering final year. In my PUC, I had a choice to choose between medicine and engineering for I had got a good rank in both of them. I chose engineering for I had goals in that stream and felt I was not comfortable with medicine. This was against the wishes of my family.

I failed to get placed in my dream company (though it was not my ultimate goal). I am disappointed in myself. I am not able to concentrate on the preparation for my competitive exams. I feel I am not capable. The fear of failure always haunts me.

A question of whether I made a wrong decision haunts me. I always fear of letting down my parents. I have realised that due to this problem I have lost my ability to concentrate. I have become too negative and lost my peace of mind.  I want to come out of this situation and work hard. Please help.
Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
There are no right and wrong decisions in this case. There are choices, and each choice was equally good. You chose a particular fork in the road based on your judgement and that is a perfectly valid choice, whatever the reasons.

Just because you have not got place in a company you would have liked, does not mean that was a wrong choice, or that you are a failure. All that it means is that you did not get that job. That door closed, but there are many more that are open and that you can explore. Just because you failed to get one job does not mean that you are a failure in totality. Remember failure is always an event, never a person. Also, that failure is not the end of the road.

There are several things that you would have learnt from that experience which will help you be better prepared before the next door opens up. Please read my article about this in my blog http://personalorbitchange.blogspot.in/2010/09/its-not-end-of-road.html.

Believe in yourself and your capabilities. Your parents may be disappointed that you did not do medicine but ultimately this is about you and your career. They will want you to be happy and succeed at whatever you choose to do. All you need to do is know your own definition of success and try to live up to other people’s definitions of success, or allow others to define success for you.

If you have access to a counsellor, a few sessions may help you overcome this current struggle. Or you can call the Parivarthan Counselling Helpline at 080 65333323 to get a help to understand your situation in a more helpful way.
All the best.

Dear Madam,
I am pursuing my MSc in Life Sciences and I am in the final semester. I recently involved myself in a cultural festival organised in my college.

I enjoyed my job of coordinating an event to such a large extent that I wish to make a career in event management.

Also I was fortunate enough to do a 3 months multidisciplinary course in event management in my college, which I enjoyed and learnt a lot from. This was the time when I thought of building my career in it.

I believe that I can do my best in the field of event management, as I love to learn something new every day and I like the creative aspects of it as well, wherein we can’t just sit in one place but instead have to involve our self to the fullest.

Now I am in a dilemma about what I should do. My family wants me find a job related to my studies. But, I can’t find any company that employs students from my field. Please help me.
XYZ

Dear XYZ,
You should do what you enjoy and will be able to contribute the most to. You should do something that will give you a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment. You should do something that will not only help you meet your basic needs, but also fulfil your higher level needs of self-actualisation and help you grow as a person.

But what that something is, and which path of the fork you should choose, only you can answer. You must answer it truthfully, for yourself.

You must answer it keeping in mind not only your short-term current interests, but also long-term needs and goals.

Something to keep in mind is that event management is something you can always come back to, should a job in your field of study not interest you.
However, the reverse transition may not be that easy.