Blow-by-blow account

humour

Blow-by-blow account

No sooner do we buy something new and breathe in a sense of pride than we end up running into killjoys. My wife and I visited a furniture exhibition and ended up, like many others, buying only the sundry things put up on the sidelines of the main hall.

As my wife was bargaining in a shop, I was drawn by a draft of cool air coming from an opposite stall. I jostled to get inside and saw attractive, multi-coloured, box-type vertical fans.

The sales guy said, “Sir, these are tower-type cooler fans. See how cool the air comes out. No need to pour water inside. You can keep them vertically or horizontally. And feel how great the air-throw is! They consume less electricity. No need for AC in your home, and you save on electricity. Today, we offer it for 1,000 rupees, as special discount. Can I pack one for you, sir?”

“No,” I said, “Pack two for me with some additional discount.” He nearly swooned, but recovered. He said, “I’ll give you 400 rupees as additional discount.” I clinched the deal.

My wife returned triumphantly buying a couple of handbags, and on seeing the hefty colourful cartons in my hand, her face paled. “My God! What’ve you done?” she exclaimed. Somehow, I convinced her that my strategic acquisition would yield a quick payback. Grudgingly, she took one fan from me and we headed out to board the cab. It took some time for it to arrive, and in this period, passers-by pitched in with unsolicited comments.

The first person said, “These fans will run.” “Fans are meant to run. I’m glad they’ll,” I said and tried to avoid him. “No, sir. They’ll run away. Once you switch them on, they’ll
vibrate and move from place to place.”

Next, a young lady asked me the price of our twin towers and I shared the figure. “For me, he told  a 1,000 rupees less. Somehow, they’re shrewd in identifying gullible people!” Now I couldn’t face my wife.

The third stranger said that he’d bought an identical fan earlier, and when he switched it on, thanks to its high-pitched sound, workers from a nearby factory came out assuming it was an emergency.

I came home prepared for the worst, prayed, and switched on the fans. They didn’t run. I mean, they worked perfectly without vibration, and didn’t run away. The air-throw was awesome. The noise level, well, it was definitely more, though not to the extent of that of a siren.

I’ve discovered that there are many untold advantages of using the tower fan. When it works, mosquitoes are blown away in the air blast. So there’s no need for any mat or bat to combat the deadly creatures.

On some occasions, when friends or relatives gather at my house, I’ve observed that gossip rules the roost. Sensing the turn of the chit-chat, I press my twin towers into action  and no one can hear what the other person says, and as a result, there’s towering harmony. What more can you ask for!


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