<p>My friend X — a smart, attractive woman in her early thirties — “finally” gave the green signal to her mother to register her on a matrimonial site. Having found the perfect balance between worldly success and personal bliss in the pursuit of art, literature, music, spirituality and travel, X thought that this was an ideal time to find a suitable partner and settle down. <br /><br /></p>.<p>All was peaceful until X’s mom showed her the profile she had created. X went into a stupor, before she found her voice and exclaimed: “Mom, that’s not me!” <br /><br />“What on earth do you mean?” asked X’s mother incredulously. “Aren’t the photos, qualifications and other details yours?” “Yes, they are…” X was forced to admit “but they aren’t ‘me’ in the true sense.” “You’re a funny girl” said X’s mother smiling and shaking her head indulgently. “Let’s discuss this when you’re less spaced-out”. <br /><br />X fell into a pensive silence, unsure how to articulate her sentiments. What her mother had said was perhaps valid, but didn’t represent X’s authentic self. X felt that she had been caught, cropped and coerced to fit into pigeon-holes she not only failed to relate to, but also had a definite objection against.<br /><br />Among other things, the website had demanded to know not only X’s religion, but also details like her caste, subcaste, nakshatra and gotram. It grandly displayed the alignment and position of X’s stars at the time of her birth and declared that her horoscope was free of all doshams (obstacles). It pried into X’s eating habits and labelled her a “vegetarian”, who enjoyed an occasional egg. But what bothered her the most was that the site had sought to categorise her skin colour.<br /><br />X’s mind soon became a whirlpool of turbulent thoughts. First of all, she felt terribly let-down by her mother. How could her mom have raised her to be an independent, free-thinking soul and then, in an outrageous paradox, parade her on a site that espoused stiflingly narrow paradigms and compartments?<br /><br />Then, there were deeper, spiritual principles that X understood and believed in — beliefs that she couldn’t get herself to confide in the average person for fear of being judged. They were: <br /><br />The fact that she was a universal woman seeking vibrational compatibility rather than one based on caste, creed, colour, race, ability or nationality. After all, don’t spiritual seers teach that all beings are made of energy and vibrations; and that we align with the energy we are most compatible with? The fact that she believed in God albeit not as the average person saw Him. X saw God as the same source consciousness that flowed through every living being on the planet. <br /><br />The fact that she didn’t believe that one’s destiny was shaped by constants like time, place and date of one’s birth, but by one’s thoughts, vibrations and focus. The fact that she’d like to state the colour of her aura than that of her skin!<br /><br />The lofty X’s thoughts may at best sound highly entangled and at worst, crazy. However, I wouldn’t dismiss it as complete BS, for I too have noticed striking paradoxes in our country. Isn’t it high time incongruities are bridged and we tune into the vibration of a united India, which is progressive in every sense? <br /></p>
<p>My friend X — a smart, attractive woman in her early thirties — “finally” gave the green signal to her mother to register her on a matrimonial site. Having found the perfect balance between worldly success and personal bliss in the pursuit of art, literature, music, spirituality and travel, X thought that this was an ideal time to find a suitable partner and settle down. <br /><br /></p>.<p>All was peaceful until X’s mom showed her the profile she had created. X went into a stupor, before she found her voice and exclaimed: “Mom, that’s not me!” <br /><br />“What on earth do you mean?” asked X’s mother incredulously. “Aren’t the photos, qualifications and other details yours?” “Yes, they are…” X was forced to admit “but they aren’t ‘me’ in the true sense.” “You’re a funny girl” said X’s mother smiling and shaking her head indulgently. “Let’s discuss this when you’re less spaced-out”. <br /><br />X fell into a pensive silence, unsure how to articulate her sentiments. What her mother had said was perhaps valid, but didn’t represent X’s authentic self. X felt that she had been caught, cropped and coerced to fit into pigeon-holes she not only failed to relate to, but also had a definite objection against.<br /><br />Among other things, the website had demanded to know not only X’s religion, but also details like her caste, subcaste, nakshatra and gotram. It grandly displayed the alignment and position of X’s stars at the time of her birth and declared that her horoscope was free of all doshams (obstacles). It pried into X’s eating habits and labelled her a “vegetarian”, who enjoyed an occasional egg. But what bothered her the most was that the site had sought to categorise her skin colour.<br /><br />X’s mind soon became a whirlpool of turbulent thoughts. First of all, she felt terribly let-down by her mother. How could her mom have raised her to be an independent, free-thinking soul and then, in an outrageous paradox, parade her on a site that espoused stiflingly narrow paradigms and compartments?<br /><br />Then, there were deeper, spiritual principles that X understood and believed in — beliefs that she couldn’t get herself to confide in the average person for fear of being judged. They were: <br /><br />The fact that she was a universal woman seeking vibrational compatibility rather than one based on caste, creed, colour, race, ability or nationality. After all, don’t spiritual seers teach that all beings are made of energy and vibrations; and that we align with the energy we are most compatible with? The fact that she believed in God albeit not as the average person saw Him. X saw God as the same source consciousness that flowed through every living being on the planet. <br /><br />The fact that she didn’t believe that one’s destiny was shaped by constants like time, place and date of one’s birth, but by one’s thoughts, vibrations and focus. The fact that she’d like to state the colour of her aura than that of her skin!<br /><br />The lofty X’s thoughts may at best sound highly entangled and at worst, crazy. However, I wouldn’t dismiss it as complete BS, for I too have noticed striking paradoxes in our country. Isn’t it high time incongruities are bridged and we tune into the vibration of a united India, which is progressive in every sense? <br /></p>
