NRI saboteurs

The ubiquitous NRIs are everywhere — on the roads, in offices, in families, even in malls and multiplexes. Yes, they are the ‘Nuisance Radiating Indians.’ Recently, I was at a multiplex, to watch a much-hyped English flick. The auditorium was already packed chock-a-block. I plonked myself on theatre seat. But little was I aware that there’d be NRIs around, to sabotage my sublime joy.

Even after the un-spooling of opening credits, the lady beside hadn’t stopped jabbering over her cellphone. In these times, wherein even scavengers possess their personal cellphones, strange that some people presume they are ‘making a splash’ by stylishly speaking over their mobiles! This female was speaking in such strident tones that people seated even six rows away, could overhear every single syllable that she spewed.
It didn’t take time to know she was yapping with her spouse. As she rattled in raucous tones, you were forced into knowing details about her life — her husband’s name, the place he worked in, the name of her friends with whom she had come to watch the film, even about food that was placed in her fridge on that day, what all to be re-heated, consumed and chucked! Phew!

Soon after this aural assault, another woman in front row had launched on her equally jarring monologue. In her guttural voice, she was giving graphic details about her busily engineered life, elaborately ladling out info about the tasks she had on that day’s agenda. At the end of it, people heaved a sigh of relief to know her child’s tuition teacher being fixed; her home’s electricity bill, paid; the monthly groceries, delivered home; and minor misunderstanding with maid, sorted out!

Seated beside this lady, was a ‘billing n’ cooing’ couple, amorously feeding each other with bhelpuri, from the same spoon/plate. Every fourth second, the girl would loll against the man to whisper sweet nothings. The way she was cooing, I thought she’d chew off half his ear, along with bhelpuri. One wondered, of all places, why she had to choose the theatre, to unleash her reservoir of love.

And then there was a brat behind, who I suppose had come for the film’s second viewing, as he was reeling out racy details of things that would happen in next scene. To add to nuisance value, there were babies, bawling in their baby slings. With these folks foiling my fun, my gusto to watch the film had got fully extinguished.
Truly, these NRIs are unique breed by themselves, a veritable embodiment of callous attitude. Just as there are ‘bouncers’ in pubs, I wish there are a few in multiplexes too, to haul up and hurl outside these NRIs, whenever they tend to create nuisance of any sort.

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