The wish list

Swalpa Connect Maadi

Since then he has slumped right out of the list, but these things happen.Then there was the list of richest women in India. Here I hit bonanza. I know one of them.

And what's more important, she knows me! So there! Burn with envy all of you listless people out there! Oh, the power of a list!

Now there are lists and lists. I, for one, cannot function without a chore list of all that must be done during the day. From giving a tick shampoo to the dog, to giving a deworming dose to the cat and popping a vitamin tablet in the husband's mouth.

Sometimes, I get my wires crossed. I douse the husband's head with tick shampoo and give the vitamin tablet to the dog.

But that's alright perhaps the husband needed a de-ticking anyway. Not to be confused with a ticking off which he needs approximately every eleventh hour on the hour. But these are not the lists that count.

But coming back to the lists which are not chore lists or shopping lists. Listing is a big thing with media these days. And when something becomes big with media (as in big with baby) naturally everyone wants to be enlisted. And since all of us cannot make it to those ten richest Indians or the best dressed or even the ten most beautiful Indians list, why don't we spread this a little thinner so everyone can stand a chance. Everyone must make it to one list at least once in a lifetime. We are a democratic country after all.

So how about a richest women in India between forty and forty five with their birthdays between 15 & 17th  of September who have a gap of at least 2 mm between their front teeth? The last qualifier is the crux.

I am sure at least one of my friends will make it to this list. And then we can  demand a party to celebrate.

The only reservation I have is our ability to accurately measure the gap between two front teeth.

Needless to say she gets disqualified if the said critical gap turns out to be in a denture.
Another list I'd like to actively promote is a list of the ten most beautiful Indian women with a spot on the tip of their noses, who have had a silicon implant in the relevant parts of the anatomy.

This is going to be a tough call because the spot on the tip of the nose must have been surgically deleted many years ago and only lives on in gawky childhood pictures.  And no one I know will admit to the implants. Not even to make it to this list.

I'd like to make a list of the ten richest women m India who have had a harelip at birth (photographic evidence is- statutory) and have - married one of a twin, were present in a departmental store on Peddar Road when the first Mumbai blast happened.

The next one is specially for me since by no stretch of wishful thinking can I make it to the richest or the most beautiful women list.  But the good news is that with the help of some very specific qualifiers I can have my very own list and head it in shining letters.

So how about a list of the most beautiful women in India who have a dumb black Labrador called Friday whose idea of heaven is to eat all day, a cook whose grandmother has completely flummoxed nature by dying four times in six months.

Someone who has been on a rather desperate soul smothering diet of cabbage and celery soup for six months to lose 5 kg  and actually lost 600 gms from her ankles. I know someone who qualifies. At last. The next nine slots are open for nominations.