Yours faithfully?

The story is told of a restless, troubled woman, seeking divine answers and peace of mind, who travelled miles and miles to a remote mountain ashram and asked His Holiness, a revered guru: What is the meaning of life? To which he replied: Have you tried googling it? 

Today, despite blessings and salvation from god’s angels readily available on a screen in our own homes, millions of us continue to flock in person to sacred cities and mystic mountains, holy trees and healing rivers — seeking guidance, healing, or just plain peace. Religion, despite the pithy slogan, ‘God is everywhere’ created by its ad agency, still drives people to get out there, often enduring great hardships and expense, to physically stand in the presence of god, or rather some human representation of the divine. 

‘Help centre’

Religion has been our go-to help centre ever since childhood, as its leaders hold powerful portfolios — one with an elephant head to remove obstacles, one with a third eye to destroy evil, one on a lotus to help pass exams, one on the cross to help you bear your own, one who is a divine prophet and messenger, one whose calmness leads to enlightenment, to name just a few.

Religion often requires splashes of water on heads, smearing of ash on foreheads, counting of a specific number of beads, abstinence from certain foods, and singing bhajans, dancing in a trance. It requires meticulous attention to rituals, like when to step out with your right leg, and how many coconuts to break.

But it’s a curious fact that this human form/spokesperson of god before us orchestrating rituals — is way more likely to be a male, no matter what the faith, anywhere in the world. Yet it is women who keep up religious traditions and perform these elaborate rituals. Women everywhere are most likely to be praying devoutly for the health of parents, the exam results of children, the test results of their mammograms, and (at least once a year) the prolonged life of husbands — even if they just had a huge argument with the spouse — after sighting the moon on the day of Karva Chauth. Men are most likely negotiating a divine outcome to a business deal coming up.

This worldwide stereotyping of gender roles, wherein male gurus usually lead and women believers generally follow, is easily explained as one more off-shoot of patriarchy; societal biases view male leadership traits more favourably even in religion. Despite the presence of powerful women saints, we’re not likely to hear of women at the highest positions easily. 

Religion’s cooler cousin

While religion has had many disillusioned dropouts amongst genders, thanks largely to pointless wars between nations of differing faith, being spiritual has certainly become the cooler thing to be, no matter what one’s gender. Corporate heads quote sufi master and poet Rumi at board meetings, Bollywood stars flock to godmen and women, influencing millions of their own fans to follow the more glamorous ‘spiritual’ path. 

To many, religion and spirituality are just different words to get an understanding of the the higher power, the celestial omnipresent. But if you, man or woman, are still trying to figure out: “Am I religious? Or am I spiritual?” Here’s a ready reckoner: Religion is praying for rain. But spirituality is bringing an umbrella.

(He Said/She Said is a monthly column on gender issues — funny side up. Reach the author at [e-mail])