Rage, rejection, repression: What drives crimes of passion in Bengaluru?

Two recent murders in Bengaluru have reignited discussions over the frequency and nature of “crimes of passion.” While the public views them as a rising trend, police and experts say these emotionally driven crimes have long been common, with only the most sensational cases attracting public and media attention.

On June 7, a man named Shankar beheaded his wife after allegedly discovering her extramarital affair. Two days later, a 33-year-old mother of two was killed by her lover in a South Bengaluru hotel after she tried to distance herself from him.

Shivakumar Gunare, Deputy Commissioner of Police (DCP), Whitefield, noted that these crimes may appear as spontaneous outbursts but are often shaped by the suspect’s exposure to news, films, or crime novels. “Even methods of covering up the crime — like hiding bodies in suitcases or refrigerators—can be traced to what they’ve consumed from the media,” he said. Dr Meera Baindur, professor of humanities at a management institute in the city, echoed the same.

S Girish, DCP of the West Division, added that jealousy, ego, and unresolved personal issues frequently play a role. “Some suspects have traumatic pasts, but that doesn’t justify taking a life,” he noted.

The rationale behind such crimes can often stems from one’s sense of self and childhood experiences.

Maullika Sharma, a counselor in Bengaluru, noted that since children’s emotions are not validated while growing up, they are also not taught how to regulate them. Therefore, adults end up having a lot of repressed emotions and no tools or outlets to express them, resulting in irrational or violent behaviour that can destroy relationships and property, even if the emotion of anger is valid.

She explained that people often enter into relationships without being mindful, seeking them as a source of validation, often without a strong sense of self. This also results in people being unable to handle rejection maturely. “Any sign of rejection within the relationship can be interpreted as an invalidation and rejection of self. Toxic masculinity also has a lot to do with this,” Sharma said.

She added that people don’t learn to detect ‘red flags’ or choose to overlook them because that is how they have seen relationships play out in their homes. Additionally, the lack of a deep connection and communication with parents, friends, and siblings increases the risk of a person not benefitting from an external perspective on the ‘troubles’ in their relationship.

Social workers can flag these issues earlier in a relationship, said Prof Baindur. “Little is spoken about intimate partner violence; there is still shame about this. If it is spoken about and help is sought early, these outcomes can be avoided, because physical violence is a much later issue. It begins with built-up indignation and anger in the previous stages,” she explained.

She observed that this nature of intimate partner violence is a result of patriarchy and patriarchal pushback. “Our premodern ideas of sex and intimacy are still very prevalent in society. The idea of possession of women as property—seen as something that is given and owned—is also very strong in India. These kinds of violent crimes stem from patriarchal pushback and the women’s pushback in response to patriarchy, making both groups violent against each other,” she said.

Inside the investigation

Hakay Akshay Machhindra, DCP, Crime 1 and Central Division, explained that investigations are guided by the “crime triangle”: crime scene, victim, and accused.

“Crime scenes tell a story. We analyse inconsistencies and build leads from missing links,” he said. Investigators frame questions around these gaps, leading to critical evidence—such as weapons or electronic devices—that can be seized from suspects.

Understanding motive is often the most complex part. A CID officer explained that interrogations in such cases are emotionally intense. “The crime might happen in minutes, but suspects often take days or weeks to process what they’ve done. Some confess immediately, while others shut down emotionally,” he said.

Patience, he added, is essential.

“Many suspects not only lose someone they loved but must also face the fact that they caused it. Once they open up, it can take hours of careful listening.”

He also stressed the need for investigators to understand both the victim’s and the suspect’s perspectives—something often neglected. “These are emotionally heavy cases, and officers must also take care of their mental health, which is frequently overlooked.”