When social media is global war field

What happens when leaders turn to the digital space to thrash out problems? Metrolife takes a satirical look at the possibility.

It was a routine Twitter update that soon turned into a war of words between high ranking officials of India and Pakistan. Recently, in a Twitter post, our foreign minister Sushma Swaraj said she had asked Indian high commissioner in Islamabad, Ajay Bisaria, for a report on the abduction and forced conversion of two Hindu girls in Pakistan on Holi.

This didn’t go down too well with Pakistan Information minister Chaudhury Fawad Hussain, who responded by saying that it was Pakistan’s internal matter and asked her to look after the rights of Indian minorities.

While the context itself was serious, the manner in which it was being discussed and debated caught Metrolife’s eye. In a world which is increasingly going digital, why should countries fight in a primitive way? Taking to social media to solve international disputes seems a great idea and we feel it is something to be looked into in the coming years. Here’s how we can go about it...

Twitter becomes gladiator arena

Not that it is any different now but imagine it serving as a global mediation-cum-dispute redressal forum. Countries bring their grievances to the micro-blogging site and thrash it out there, in full public view, and possibly find resolutions or reach agreements. We have already seen a prime example when US President Donald Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong-un battled it out on Twitter (“I have a bigger button”, “I have bigger nukes”) and ultimately shook hands and made up.

Wars will be fought on PUBG

It has often been said that the ones farthest from the battlefield are often the most eager for war. For all the patriotic nationals who can’t wait to join their armies to teach the enemies a lesson, this should prove to be a godsend. Since the entire world is hooked to PUBG anyway, put it to good use and declare it the official way of fighting wars between countries now. So many lives, so many resources and so much money can be saved.

Virtual global conferences

This should be a no-brainer. Enable ministers from all over the world to attend international conferences virtually so they can attend to work at home on a faster basis. Having seen instances of how elected representatives view conferences as just an international trip, we can’t stress the need for this enough.

Plus, it reduces expenses and emissions from vehicles. Remember when participants at the Paris Climate Change Conference came in private jets and Limos to talk about reducing one’s carbon footprint.

Award international contracts on LinkedIn

It is a simple process: MNCs put up their credentials on LinkedIn plus reasons why they should be awarded the contract. Based on this, governments can shortlist contenders who can then take part in a public, social media-based tender process. No cries of favouritism or allegations of corruption and certainly no accusations of awarding lucrative defence deals to one-day-old companies who are not equipped to deal with it.

Keep an eye on everyone through Facebook

Seems like a Dystopian view but governments need not spend billions on elaborate security and surveillance facilities.

Keep an eye on your enemy by snooping on their citizen’s FB accounts. In fact, keep an eye on your people too for.... Oh wait, this facility is already in place.