The art of arguing

The sole profession where arguments are the basic tool is that of lawyers. Arguments, by contending lawyers, in the courtrooms are part of the procedure for facilitating judges to arrive at a conclusion. However, there is no judge sitting to hear our arguments and to adjudicate when we argue in the social domain with each other. The dynamics of interpersonal arguments are different from legal arguments.

All of us are faced with the situations of arguments, some more and some less, in our daily lives. Instances of arguments between husband and wife are rife. We argue with an array of people with whom we have some annoyance or differences. Arguments arise when there is a clash of contrary perspectives, conflicting opinions, and different approaches. Arguments generally exacerbate tension and foment bitterness between the persons.

Woefully, there is no enabling course or curriculum designed to teach the art of arguing—neither for the lay public nor even for law students. It is ironic that even the best of law schools do not impart to their students training for developing practical skills of arguing.

A civilised argument should venture to convince with facts, logic, and empathy. Before starting an argument, we should first have clarity about the objective, facts, and claims. ‘Raise your words, not your voice.’ We should speak our mind without appearing to be arguing overtly. 

The word ‘argument’ has a negative connotation. To be ‘argumentative’ is considered a negative trait in any person. An argumentative person just advances his or her arguments without bothering to listen to the other side. An argumentative person becomes more aggressive if the other person refuses to be convinced.

An argument should be made with the purpose of convincing the other side, rather than with the motive of causing offence. Do not blame
the other person if you are unable to convince. We have to reinforce our arguments rather than force them
on others.

Arguing is an art that needs to be cultivated. Instead of proving the other person all wrong, the purpose of an argument should be to put across your viewpoint and perspective successfully. Arguments are not always a contest between right and wrong. A successful argument convincingly manages to press on its pleas with logic and facts. Dissemination of the art of arguing will stand the society in good stead.