<p>In one of his books, the well-known spiritual guide, Robin Sharma, says, ‘It is only when you have mastered the art of loving yourself that you can truly love others.’ This proposition sounds preposterous. It seems to be an invitation to be self-serving and selfish. To be intent on one’s own fulfilment and pleasure does seem to be the very antithesis of being kind and compassionate. It heightens self-importance and places one at the centre of the universe.</p><p>The thinking individual, however, will grasp its meaning. Many of us inadvertently create stress in our lives by underestimating ourselves. Life is never a bed of roses for anyone. It is always a mix of happy moments and sad or painful ones. When we face sadness or difficulties, we rely on others to guide us.</p><p>We lose confidence in ourselves and seek acknowledgement, acceptance and approval from others. When this is forthcoming, we enjoy it, but when we do not find sympathy, we feel anxious and stressed. We think badly of those who criticise us and become unhappy and aloof. We withdraw into a shell, keep to ourselves, and become hostile toward others' suffering. We fail to understand that confidence in oneself is an inside job. How do we achieve this?</p><p>We see things as they are. There is pain, there is loss, but we manage to send love and kindness to ourselves. We do it as we would for a crying baby, so it feels safe and comforted. We now learn that others, too, feel the same when they are confronted with pain and sadness. We experience openness and a connection with others. We are not apart from others; we are a part of them.</p><p>The human being is described as a social animal. Indeed, a human baby is entirely dependent on others for survival. We may outgrow this phase, but all our lives, we look to others for affirmation and encouragement. Love for others demands reflection and practice, but once it gains ground, it exhilarates and grows. As John Donne put it, ‘No man is an island, entire of itself…’ To sum up, if you genuinely love yourself, you will love others.</p>
<p>In one of his books, the well-known spiritual guide, Robin Sharma, says, ‘It is only when you have mastered the art of loving yourself that you can truly love others.’ This proposition sounds preposterous. It seems to be an invitation to be self-serving and selfish. To be intent on one’s own fulfilment and pleasure does seem to be the very antithesis of being kind and compassionate. It heightens self-importance and places one at the centre of the universe.</p><p>The thinking individual, however, will grasp its meaning. Many of us inadvertently create stress in our lives by underestimating ourselves. Life is never a bed of roses for anyone. It is always a mix of happy moments and sad or painful ones. When we face sadness or difficulties, we rely on others to guide us.</p><p>We lose confidence in ourselves and seek acknowledgement, acceptance and approval from others. When this is forthcoming, we enjoy it, but when we do not find sympathy, we feel anxious and stressed. We think badly of those who criticise us and become unhappy and aloof. We withdraw into a shell, keep to ourselves, and become hostile toward others' suffering. We fail to understand that confidence in oneself is an inside job. How do we achieve this?</p><p>We see things as they are. There is pain, there is loss, but we manage to send love and kindness to ourselves. We do it as we would for a crying baby, so it feels safe and comforted. We now learn that others, too, feel the same when they are confronted with pain and sadness. We experience openness and a connection with others. We are not apart from others; we are a part of them.</p><p>The human being is described as a social animal. Indeed, a human baby is entirely dependent on others for survival. We may outgrow this phase, but all our lives, we look to others for affirmation and encouragement. Love for others demands reflection and practice, but once it gains ground, it exhilarates and grows. As John Donne put it, ‘No man is an island, entire of itself…’ To sum up, if you genuinely love yourself, you will love others.</p>
