The Digital Alarmist: Kamala, time to become Kamilla, the warrior queen?

The average Indian is not only capable of pronouncing the name ‘Kamala’ (as in Kamala Harris) correctly but is also aware of what it means – lotus.

Not so easy for the average American, and especially so if he or she is a Republican, and a politician at that, to properly pronounce the simple three-syllable name ‘Kamala’, even after being repeatedly instructed on how to say it correctly. Some people are unteachable.

To give you a better example, I have heard the two-syllable name ‘Rajan’ pronounced in the US in a variety of ways – Raahaan, Ray jen, Rajaan, Raayaan, Raajaan, etc. – except the right one. The simple letter ‘j’ miraculously gets transformed to an ‘h’ or a ‘y’. Likewise, ‘Hari’ is often mispronounced as ‘Haari’ or ‘Harry’, a common first name in the Anglo-Saxon world which means ‘army leader’. One of the many avatars of God, I suppose.

India is used to having the names of its cities, towns and citizenry mangled for well over two centuries, thanks to the Brits. If it is difficult for an English colonialist to address an Indian teacher by his surname ‘Mukhopadhyay’, why not call him ‘Mukherjee,’ with a little bit of respect (‘ji’ or ‘jee’) thrown in to mollify the incensed teacher? Which would explain the name pairs -- Bandopadhyay/Banerjee, Chatopadhyay/Chaterjee, etc.

The names of localities in South India proved to be especially problematic for the British. Thiruvallikeni? Seriously? Let’s make it simpler -- Triplicane. And so it is with Thanjavur/Tanjore, Bengaluru/Bangalore, Uthagamandalam/Ootacamund (better yet, Ooty), Kozhikode/Calicut, Thiruvananthapuram/Trivandrum, Lakshadweep/Laccadives, etc. A never-ending list. Just like never-ending wars.

Is all of this name nonsense relevant in today’s IT world? You bet.

Why is the mangling of non-western names in the US and the UK such a common occurrence? I’ll ignore the UK (no longer the superpower, their pretensions notwithstanding) and focus on America. A charitable interpretation of name-mangling would be that perhaps it is being done in full recognition of the multicultural fabric of American society. A second interpretation would possibly attribute it to the individualism, exceptionalism, aggression and microaggression which are part and parcel of the American psyche. Wouldn’t it be far simpler for Kamala, Rajan and Hari to change their names to Camilla, Roger and Harry, respectively, and put an end to the microaggression? Camilla means a “warrior queen” of the Volscians, an Italian tribe, according to Virgil’s Aeneid; Roger is a name of German origin meaning “famous warrior”. These days, we are all warriors of one kind or another – waging war on truth, ideas, science, drugs, etc.

The third interpretation -- the one that I subscribe to -- attributes it to characterising the US as a country of lotus eaters and lotus followers – a characterisation that fits the current political climate in India as well.

Lotus eaters -- therein lies the problem. The hyphenated word ‘lotus-eater’ is encountered in Book 10 of the Odyssey, Homer’s Greek mythological opus. In case you are not aware, ingesting lotus leaves and lotus roots can be hazardous to your health if you do not know their provenance or their side-effects.

Contrary to popular depictions of the lotus as a symbol of beauty sitting majestically in a sparkling pond, it is typically found in swampy, anaerobic environments. The sacred lotus of India is an aquatic plant with white or pink flowers while the lotus of North America, also an aquatic plant, has yellow blossoms.

According to the Encyclopaedia Britannica, “the lotus has, since ancient times, symbolised fertility and related ideas, including birth, purity, sexuality, rebirth of the dead…” These same ideas have been used to provoke and promote divisiveness in both America and India.

The chemical substances in lotus leaves are the same ones you find in psychotropic drugs. Such drugs are known to affect the central nervous system, leading to marked changes in perception, mood, consciousness, cognition, or behaviour.

Kamala, time to change your name. Will it be the flower Camellia? Or Camelot? Or Kamilla, the warrior queen? I hope you pick Kamilla, because warriors are memorialised. It will be in keeping with mainstream America, the land of the free and home of the brave. With a touch of whitening cream, you will get even more brownie points, perhaps?

Pronunciation issues aside, every Indian should feel proud that a Brahmin girl, barely 19, who had never been on a plane or ship, had the courage and audacity to travel to the US during the heyday of American racism and institutionalised abuse of blacks, took a chance to academically advance herself, married a black man to produce Kamala, now the Vice President of the United States.

Democracy, secularism and equality – all in one tidy little package named Kamala. Dear reader, wish her well.