There’s no hiding this hug

The line between right and wrong is seldom clear. As the sensual English poet John Keats once said, "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder," and so do ethics.

Having been born and brought up in the countryside, I was new to the campus culture of city colleges. As soon as I graduated with a master’s degree in English literature from Mangalore University, I got a job offer to teach at an elite college in Bengaluru, a premier education institution run by a religious order that was renowned for discipline and a thrust on moral values.

It was my first week on campus. The security guards there, both at the entrance of the college gate and around the campus, were seen monitoring not only security but also decorum. I nodded in approval when the security personnel intervened to separate students standing too close for our comfort.

However, my perception of right and wrong was soon challenged. When I asked a student the reason for his prolonged absence from my class, he said, "I was suspended for hugging and kissing girls." His candid admission came as a rude cultural shock for me. I was startled to hear such a confession. Having studied at a college with a rural ethos, hugging and kissing girls in the open and then admitting to it so confidently seemed most unusual. Although this public display of affection was unacceptable, the student displayed absolutely no sense of guilt or remorse, even after suspension. I was bewildered. But as the days went by, I could routinely find boys and girls greeting each other with a hug or kiss. And I understood it was a cultural expression of greeting without any perverted intent.

Although an accepted norm among the student community, the management took strict exception to such expressions of social greeting. The student community, of course, believed that the people in management belonged to the stone age.

I soon realised that one’s perception of what is right and wrong largely depends on one’s upbringing and socio-cultural exposure. I wanted to dig deeper into the perceptions of the students, teachers, and parents on this issue and asked my student editorial team of the college newsletter, which was looking for fresh ideas, to undertake a survey-based news report on the issue. The team interviewed several students, parents, and teachers. And there emerged a gaping generational divide!

A majority of students found nothing wrong with greeting friends of the opposite gender with a kiss or hug, but many teachers and all the parents found it strongly unacceptable.

Incidentally, a female colleague from the English department agreed with the students completely and proved it by greeting me with a hug!

So, the moral of the story is that truth is beyond what you see, and the notions of right and wrong change!