Wedding bells, Stockholm style

Minus the fuss, it was an affair marked by simplicity, warmth, and love

My family crossed the seas to attend my youngest son's wedding in Stockholm, Sweden. He was to marry his partner of 12 years Lisa. Having had two weddings in India for my two older children I had braced myself to a fortnight of expenses, fatigue, confusion, lost tempers and a multitude of coordinating mishaps. 

The wedding was funded and organised by the couple themselves so we had to just go with the flow. The guest list had 90 invitees.  

On the eve of the wedding, I saw the bride happily go with her friends with a basket in hand. "We are going to get some flowers," she said. Being accustomed to florists reaping money for an opulent floral decoration, I was wondering how a basket would fit in all the flowers.

Stockholm in spring is beautiful with roads and gardens full of flowers and they plucked only a few. "We'll bring blue and yellow flowers to go with Lisa's saree" they said as they walked cheerfully away.

The morning of the wedding had a simple wedding ceremony which as per my son's wish I conducted.  I learnt the seven vows of the Hindu ritual from my Sanskrit teacher, Shubha, and involved the family in chanting the vows. We rehearsed this several times and with the lamp substituting for the traditional fire we finished it in 15 minutes!

Although we had thought of the function as being attended by the two families, about 30 more guests turned up. They chanted 'om' in unison when asked to, paid attention to what was being said since my granddaughter did the English and German translations, and finally I understood the vows and realised how universal they were after 50 years of my marriage! 

The evening was also a simple affair, filled with warmth and affection. The registration, again a no-fuss affair, was under a tree despite inclement weather because the couple wanted it that way! The registrar came and pronounced them man and wife and gave the marriage certificate and left.

Neither the couple nor the guests were overly dressed like we do in Indian weddings. There were no beauty parlour visits, drones and video cameras --an integral part of the typical Indian wedding. The couple mingled with the guests raised toasts, appreciated the Indian sweets and savories I had taken for them , and at 6 o clock dinner was served. 

Guests were allotted tables and each table of about 10 guests took turns to get the food. No scramble for food and the evening was peppered with speeches or songs every half an hour. The guests had come prepared to spend over five hours with us and interestingly, paid total attention to the proceedings. They did not come in time for the meal and disappear there after. This was followed by music and dance which went on till the wee hours of the morning. 

I was neither tired nor tensed and thoroughly enjoyed the process. The punctuality, affection and whole-hearted participation of the guests was memorable. I wish I had done the same for the earlier weddings too...