Righting riddles!

Sorry ‘wrong’? Then maybe it should be ‘Writing Wriddles’! Never mind the silly spellings, let’s get to the riddles. Here’s one that you could try and crack…

Search if you wish, but you’ll only agree
That there’s no one quite like me!
Across light years and the galaxy,
And as far as telescopes can see.
Riddle-me-ree!
Who d’you think I could be?

Now have I got you interested? And are you just dying to prove that I’m not as smart as I think I am? All right then, it means you’re now ready for some clues…

1. I’ve developed bulges on my midriff and can’t lose weight. I put on tons of weight every year! And like all weight-watchers, I too often grumble, “But it’s not my fault!”

2. Some rude people may call me ‘Empty-headed”. I can’t even protest, because, in a way, they’re right!

3. But maybe not having anything up there, keeps me from getting hot-headed and irritated the way all you ‘full-headed’ people do! Yes, I’d definitely swear I’m cool-headed!

4. Here’s another clue: I’ve got fire in my belly… You know, like when you’re eaten something with too much chilli in it? Sometimes, the rumblings in me get so bad that I let out these really fiery, toxic burps and belches!

5. In fact all this ‘indigestion’ inside me has been changing the way I look. My features keep changing.

6. Now, would you think I was an alien from Mars, if I told you that my complexion varies from green to blue?

7. I can be pretty thick-skinned too, but there are spots where I’m sensitive. I’m almost scared to tell you about it, because you might just hurt me there.

8. I might be terribly, terribly old, but I’m iron-hearted.

9. True, over the years, in all my non-stop travelling, I’ve become a bit flat-footed and (this is more embarrassing!) flat-headed, too. Go ahead, laugh at me.

10. Like many ancient people, I too have a few weak joints, but not too many.

11. And the next time YOU grumble about getting head lice or tick-bites from the pet dog, think of my poor plight. My skin is permanently crawling with creatures. Some pesky ones pierce me deep in my skin, I wonder what they’re looking for? Oops! I think I’ve already given away too much! I’m sure my mysterious identity is no longer a mystery! Anyway, turn the page upside down to find out if your guess is right!

And if you’ve found this fun, how about writing out your own riddles for other things that interest you.

An ‘India’ riddle could be full of misleading, unknown facts that could keep your friends guessing.

The trick is to make a place, or thing sound like a human; and a human sound like a thing! Try it. Imagine a page-long Tendulkar riddle… what a lot of facts you could pack into it!

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So were you one of the smart ones to guess that I am Planet Earth? Let’s look at some of the clues carefully. I don’t want you accusing me of deliberately misleading you.

1.Yes, it is true, I put on about 25 tonnes a year! But it’s really NOT my fault! The 25 tonnes is all fine dust from space that lands on earth.

2. Now if you consider the North Pole as my head and the South Pole as my feet, I am indeed empty-headed! The difference between the two poles is that the Antarctic ice cap in the south, actually rests on a huge land mass. But beneath the ice cap in the Arctic North, is nothing! As global warming melts the ice caps completely, not only will the sea-levels rise over 55 metres, but there’ll also be NO North Pole left…it’ll be flattened out!

3. Of course you know that since the sun’s rays strike the poles at an angle, they are much cooler than the equator.

4. Beneath my cool crust is molten rock. The temperature at my core is as high as 4000 degrees Centigrade. Sometimes, the heat and gases formed below my crust erupt through gaps like in violent volcanoes or hot water geysers.

5. Yes, did you know that the continental plates all over the earth are in constant motion, floating on the molten rock below. They’re supposed to move 2.5 cm each year! My ‘features’ do change, but over millions of years.

6. Yes, I am 2/3 rds water and 1/3 rd land! Hence blue and green – that was an easy clue, wasn’t it?!

7. Talking about my skin, in most places of land-mass, my crust is about 70 km thick. But under the ocean floor, it can get as ‘thin’ as just 6 km!

8. Did you know that while my mantle is made up of molten rock, my heart or core, is molten metal – iron and nickel. Naturally, I had to show off!

9. Because of my constant spinning on the North-South axis, my poles have got flattened out a bit and my midriff, the equator, bulges out. I’m 42 km wider around the equator, than if you measured my circumference longitudinally.

10. Like I said, I’m ancient – really, really ancient. How does 4600 million years sound to you?! So naturally I do have some faulty joints. What with all my continental plates colliding against each other and tugging away from each other. The countries on the Pacific rim, like Japan, New Zealand, and the Chile are all sitting on shifting fault lines, that cause earthquakes and tsunamis.

11. And finally, the next time you do get bitten by a mosquito, think about poor me. Millions of creatures crawling over me; swimming in my waters, driving over me… and even drilling holes deep into me for oil, gold or diamonds!