I crave forgiveness

I believed that at long last I had found the right-sized condom for my pen and would produce no more. I have been proved wrong. Either it did not fit or has begun to leak. So here I am scribbling as before. If editors of papers refuse to put up with my odd behaviour and do not publish my stuff, I will not blame them.

The Parsis

Parsis have been my favourite community for all my life. Ever since they fled muslim persecution in Iran and were given hospitality by Indian rulers, they have given the host country more than any other community. Tatas and Godrejs specialised in building modern industry. Homi Bhabha made India a nuclear power.

They produced great novelists like Rohinton Mistry and journalists like Bachi Karkaria. Most of the top lawyers of India have been and are Parsis: Nani Palkiwala, Soli Sorabjee, Nariman. They also contributed to our freedom movement and Dadabhai Nawroji, Jhabwala: (he was jailed in the Meerut conspiracy). Bhicaji Cama was the first to hoists the Indian National flag in Europe, Saklatwala was the first India to be elected to the British Parliament.

Their faith is Zorastrianism. It does not admit people of other faiths. Their fire temples do not allow entry to people of others faiths. So their number was steadily declining and it was feared they would disappear within a century. I am heartened to read that far from declining, their numbers have increased last year. It can be assumed they have become more sexually active.

As one would expect when marrying first cousins became the norm, they produced quite a few crackpots. I had the misfortune of knowing one. I was in King’s College, London when Homi Talyarkhan joined it. As customary, new entrants carried their names and nationalities on a lapel, attached to their coats.

Homi's read: ‘Homi Talyarkhan Iran.’ I accosted him and asked: ‘Homi, Aren’t you a Parsi from Bombay?’ He snubbed me ‘Mind your own bloody business.’ So I did. Later, I came across him at a meeting of ministers of tourism. He was Congress party minister of Maharashtra. He was wearing a Gandhi cap at a rakish angle. As he rose in political status, he became an ardent flag hoister. The last time I met him was as guest of the Indian Military Academy in Delhi which had invited us to speak and have lunch with its officers.
Homi insisted that he would speak first and would not stay for lunch as he had some important business on hand. He spoke with great authority but no one could make any sense out of it.

Nostalgia

People of my age have very little they can look forward and recall friendships and incidents. I am reminded of Thomas Moor’s (1779-1852) memorable lines ‘Oft In The Stilly Night...’
Oft in the stilly night
Ere Slumber’s chain hath bound me,
Fond Memory brings the light
Of other days around me.

Bawaji wins

One day a Parsi Bawaji along with his family leaves for Udwada in Gujarat Express, manages to get a window seat for himself, but darn the window is jammed shut and doesn’t budge! Watching the plight of the frail Bawaji a helpful Sardarji comes to the aid and with one thrust of his powerful arm swings open the window and proudly comments: ‘Bhapey Paraathe Kha Paraathe, Taakat aayegi.’

Now the train is in motion. Bawaji gets a call for motion! Off he runs to the toilet but to his great dismay and disbelief the toilet door is slammed shut! The bawaji again tries with all his strength but to no avail. Again its the kind Sardarji to the rescue...One mighty shoulder push and lo! leeway to the loo!! and again the proud comment: ‘Oye Bhapey Paraathe kha paraathe, taakat aayegi!’

In order to teach a lesson to Sardarji, Bawaji goes near the emergency train stopping chain and starts to portray a struggle... the Sardarji in all his benevolence does the needful! Again ‘Oye Bhapey parathe kha parathe, takat aayegi!’ The train grinds to a halt and the TC comes to check who pulled the chain only to be told by Bawaji that is that helpful Sardar ‘dikra’. The poor Sardarji gets fined for his endeavour and so the Bawaji comments ‘Arre Dikra, Dhansak kha Dhansak, Akkal aavse!

(Contributed by Vipin Buckshey, Delhi)