The sound of anger

Are there people who express their anger in the coolest manner possible?

In most cases and very often the sound of anger is loud or very loud. It is rarely that we see someone speaking angrily and in a soft or very soft voice.

What is the real connection between anger and the loudness of the words with which it is expressed? Is it not possible for a person to express his anger talking in a soft way?

Anger often starts silently. The angry person does not talk. At best he or she gives monosyllabic answers. After a couple of questions eliciting monosyllabic answers the angry person explodes. “Why are you asking me this question?  Are you not responsible for your children’s behaviour?  You are asking me where Kuppu is. Don’t you know where he goes and with whom he spends his time? Have you ever paid attention to my pleadings about your son’s behaviour?” Her voice goes up in a crescendo.

Sometimes both parties to a dispute seem to be talking moderately and reasonably. But all of a sudden one of them says something nasty like, “Is it your father’s property?”. At this point the other person loses his calm and attacks him.

When people standing by try to pacify him he says, “Sir, I am not worried about his breaking the queue as such but I can’t stand the way he dragged my father into the picture”. (There are occasions when the person who felt offended when his father was dragged into the picture may have quarrelled with his father and insulted him before leaving the house).

It is a a very strange thing that when someone tries to pacify two angry persons who are quarrelling, their voices go on increasing. There are times when one of the angry persons may even scold the good samaritan with, “You keep quiet sir. You don’t know how this idiot has misbehaved...” There are occasions when the well meaning third party had to even lay down his life in the process of trying to bring peace!

Sometimes during a domestic quarrel the wife may say, “Please for heaven’s sake talk softly. The way you are shouting, the whole area will come to know that there is a fight going on here”. Does this put some sense in the person who was shouting and prompts him to save the honour of his house? Hardly. He will shout all the more and say, “Let the whole town know. I don’t care. They will also know who the cause for this fight is.”

Are there people who can get very angry but who will express their anger in the coolest manner possible?  We had a senior officer in our office who would say the nastiest things in the softest possible voice. There were occasions when some of us had to say, “I beg your pardon sir?” The funny thing is he wouldn’t repeat his admonition. We would be left guessing what horrible thing he had given expression to. In such cases we felt it would be better to talk loudly and make one’s thoughts clear, rather than leave us in suspense.

It is not at all necessary to shout at the top of one’s voice in order to show one’s anger or displeasure.  Soft but meaningful words can show one’s feelings well. You express your anger and make your points very clear and still maintain your dignity.