Solution guaranteed

Solution guaranteed

There are a set of pundits who can solve any problem or claim to do so.

No doctor worth his prescription pad or stethoscope will advertise himself to attract patients.

The thumb rule is that his patient is his best advertising agent. Once he proves his mettle he doesn’t need to wait for the patients, they wait for him patiently. But there are a few self styled doctors who claim to have a cure for any or all diseases or both.
They display bill boards in front of their clinics trying to lure the gullible i.e. those who have traversed all paths, allopath, homeopath etc but found no cure. As a last resort such a hapless patient walks in, attracted by the board. But how he walks out of the clinic is anybody’s guess. Similarly, lawyers too are barred from advertising themselves. If not, ads like “Have you cheated/killed anybody? Are you in trouble?

Want to sue someone? Come to me for relief. Bail guaranteed” would have been around. The lawyer’s ability gets reflected in the court judgment and that will be his visiting card.

But we have a set of pundits who can solve any problem or claim to do so. Just scan the classified columns of vernacular dailies you will meet dozens of such problem solvers. They go beyond those doctors who claim to have a cure for any or all diseases. Name your most rigid predicament and they have a solution or claim to have one. A 100 per cent guarantee and a fixed time frame for the solution to take effect are thrown in as baits! See, they have their own ‘Sakala’ system in place!

While the doctor or the lawyer goes through the academic mill, these pundits claim they have been empowered with divine, terrestrial, supernatural and occult powers which allow them to solve a problem that has defied a solution. Some are so adept that that they claim that they need just 30 minutes to find a solution for a problem that has been hanging fire for years. The harassed chap needs more time to give vent to his predicament!

There are other pundits who are not that smart. They need an hour or two to suggest a solution. I have made a study of their claims. The maximum time that is needed by these divine masters is 72 hours. One Guruji is a cut above the rest because he gives 200 per cent guarantee, whatever it means. There is another who claims he is capable of giving a ‘permanent solution’ to a problem over phone. I am not sure if it is mobile or landline. And I am also not sure how he collects his fee. Rahul Gandhi perhaps needed such a divine intervention.