JOIN USWe live in an age of killing stress levels, seriously affecting our physical and mental health. We are yet to invent a fool-proof remedy for the malice. However, there are ‘peace triggers’ that can come to our rescue, avers Vimla Patil.
A man, in his 40s, was returning home after a business trip. His co-passenger on the flight watched him run down the exit gate at the airport, into the arms of his waiting wife. He held his wife close and told her how much he loved her. He cuddled his two children, telling them how much he had missed them while he was away. The whole family exuded contentment and happiness.
The much-impressed co-passenger looked admiringly at the family and said, “I hope my marriage is as happy as yours.” To this, the man with the family answered gently, “I don’t hope. I decide.”
Good relationships don’t just ‘happen’ to us; we need to work constantly to create and cherish them. If we succeed, we have gems in our pockets. If we fail, we are left with the ashes of our dreams in our palms! We live in an age of killing stress levels, seriously affecting our physical and mental health. No one has yet invented a fool-proof remedy to get rid of stress. However, there are wonderful rays of hope, ‘peace triggers’ as human relations experts call them, that can help us lead a content life.
n Accept that no one can change you, your expectations, your attitudes and your personality better than you. So, learn to use every experience as your teacher. Celebrate the fact that time never stands still. Change is the innate nature of life. If there is stress, there is also calm and contentment as a balance. Every crisis passes and brings a hiatus. Every good patch vanishes to bring a new trial for us. So, always remember that change is the essential nature of life and that no one can stop the cycle of events, nature and human existence.
n Accept that your life changes only when you do, not when others change. So stop nagging, competing, comparing or fault-finding within family or among friends because this surely creates tension and smothers relationships. As the Bhagwad Geeta says, “the world is not created for you; you are created for the world”. So keep maximum expectations from yourself and do not waste energy by being jealous, abusive, contemptuous or envious of others. These negative thoughts destroy your energy and leave you exhausted. You cannot then focus on realising your own dreams.
n Be choosy about the people you associate with. Relationships should bring you peace, stability, positivity and a sense of fulfillment. Daily skirmishes with in-laws, spouse or grown-up children are energy destroyers. Decide that your relationships will be successful and give each of them your best. Avoid negatives in people, attitudes, work culture and daily life. A positive environment and work culture should become the bedrock of your character and culture.
n Your mind and spirit have immense powers. Each day spend time alone and redesign your dreams – not necessarily for earning money or owning the good things of life, but also for achieving contentment, appreciating others’ achievements, meeting interesting people, who add value to your life and even making yourself healthy and beautiful with enjoyable activities, which you can share with your loved ones. A daily habit of meditation also creates a calm pool of peace in your heart. Being with the ‘infinite’ gives you a glimpse of yourself as a happy part of this universe. Believe surely that the universe is a ‘basket’. What you put in it will surely come back to you in some way or the other.
n You can never please everyone at all times. Selfishness is a common human failing. Friends and family may often give you a feeling that ‘you have not done enough’ for them or that you have ‘failed them in some way.’ Invest in relationships that can truly enrich your life. Cherish the ‘no-agenda’ friendships, which are based on mutual respect, trust and commitment to each other’s welfare.
n Redesign your mind and heart at intervals. Your temper, your insistence that only you know how to deal with life, your arrogance, possessiveness, moody silences, selfishness – these are a sure no-no for achieving serenity and a calm spirit. Take a break and work on discarding these deadly enemies of peace. Work hard to design your mind to receive peace and contentment. Empty it first by meditation or reliving the happy times of your life and then fill your mind with new energy and peace. Realise the power of the present and stop worrying about past wrongs or future worry.
n Finally, here’s the last peace trigger. Give respect to get it back in abundance. Treat all as equals and worthy of dignity. How you look at the world and approach its people shows your character like nothing else does!