Parenting conundrum

While we had a carefree upbringing, we are inhibited to pass it on to our children.

I  did most of my schooling in one of the hottest places of Karnataka. I was the third of the four children of my parents and enjoyed an amicable atmosphere at home, emotionally and economically.

Going to school just happened those days, about four decades back, and did not involve any kind of homework for the parents or guardians.

Getting enrolled in a school was anybody’s cup of tea. Attendance was something that would establish a relationship between the teacher and students but it had nothing to do with the parents, unlike today.

Learning was a playful experience, yet, what was sincerely imparted in the classrooms, was the education at its basic best.

Punctuality in school was forced upon  to some extent through tickling punishments and warm warnings.

As a student, I was a late riser in the morning and  would often undergo such punishments which included standing on the bench with a ‘late comer’ label on the forehead till the last period!

This was an embarrassing situation, but again it had nothing to do with the parents, and would be settled between me and the class teacher on my own strengths! At home, this would raise laughter and nothing else.

Unlike today, there would not be heated debates between teachers and parents and it would not attract the media.

School hours then were exhausting  and involved lot of outdoor games and arts. Like I said, I studied in a hot place and because going to school with proper footwear was in itself a luxury, no one bothered over shoes and socks.

While going out, nobody asked me ‘how’ I was going – with footwear or sans it, taking an umbrella or not.

Upon returning from school, I never faced queries on subjects like the day’s weather, homework, my food and so on. But, academic performance was the centrally targeted aspect at the end of the day.

Participating in track events used to be very challenging and encouraging. Events like kho-kho, lagori, and kunte-bille (hopscotch) were the most favoured ones demanding lot of intelligence and physical stamina. Most of us were comfortable without any footwear and hardly anyone asked when we would return home.

Today though, after stepping out, the child marches ahead from one protected world to another.

Everyday, it runs between two jails – home and school. As a parent, I can’t see my child struggling to catch a bus, working late night, getting drenched in the rain, leave alone going barefoot.

I find it extremely difficult to wait for any kind of message. I sometimes become quite restless to wait for my child’s classes to get over so that I can make a call.

For a person like me, who enjoyed a carefree schooling and childhood, and who still bats in its defence, why is it not easy to execute the same today? Why don’t we let our children live the way our parents let us?

While our upbringing has left us well placed and fairly responsible in life, we are inhibited to pass on the same to our children.

The factors influencing this behaviour are many, but the most irritating one is the lack of patience in us to see things take their own course.

God save children from their parents!