Think less, feel more

One of the most healing words in any language, said sincerely, a 'sorry' holds unspilled tears and a wealth of good intentions, write Bharat & Shala

We have other options, of course. To kick ourselves, or to keep justifying our actions. Both raise our guilt quotient, share of anger, blood pressure, cortisol (stress hormone) levels, leading to mental and physical ailments. Or we can say ‘sorry’ and open a whole inner world of improvement and healing, as also a calmer environment for others. In our inner world, promises whirl around in the head like leaves in the wind –

I promise to be a better person. I promise not to let you down again. I promise to be kind, good, thoughtful. Then, the mind quietens and grows luminous like the
early-morning light. My promises awaken the promise in the universe. I move forward with an Einsteinian resolve to be a person of value rather than a person of success.  
An apology is an offshoot of grace. And we need to extend this grace to one and all. To say ‘sorry’ does not demean us, it charts a better, kinder way of being.

Kindness is not just a philosophy for the mind and spirit, it is also a configuration of living health, a miracle medicine. It raises the tender-loving-caring hormone oxytocin in the brain and body; it helps the heart function better. It lowers inflammation, decreases pain and reduces the effect of a disease. The soft power of this ‘sorry’ lowers stress and strengthens our immunity. The apology comes from a part of us that wants to make things right. That’s the part that we need to grow.  

For every inhumane act from a few in the world, let there be many of us who say ‘sorry’. Imagine creating a beautiful environment in which every citizen joyously looks forward to waking up each morning. Imagine being so caring that we’d have no cause to apologise.

Because you care
Once, Buddha was walking on the beautiful beach of Ullal. He did not stumble on anybody’s outstretched legs. When he ran, he did not kick sand in the faces of those sitting and enjoying the sea breeze. He created no occasion to say ‘sorry’ because he cared enough to live and move in full awareness.

Care enough to be Buddhas of awareness. Here go a few ways to raise awareness on a daily basis:

Contemplate: What makes me rude and hostile? What do I gain? Is it worth my health? Reflect in a self-understanding, non-self-berating way.

Resolve: I allow myself to be reborn today. If I hurt others, may I find the grace to apologise. If people hurt me, may I find the grace to forgive. I promise to be mindful of all that I say and do.
It’s important to allow your more sensitive attitude to have a ripple effect with simple, potent acts:

In your office, put up a sign that says ‘Take What You Need’. Below, place cards inscribed with the words: Faith. Love. Courage. Hope. Cheerfulness. Sweetness. Stability. Kindness. Understanding. Acceptance. People are in dire need of such thoughtfulness.

Allow, with a friendly wave, other cars to overtake. It’s a therapy to dissolve road rage.

Ensure that whatever you say or do helps heal, build, inspire – never destroy – another’s spirit. Memo: No family, no team can be healthy and happy with a toxic member smouldering in its midst.

Overall, let’s think a little less and feel a little more. As the Italian writer-actor
Luciano de Crescenzo said, “We are all like one-winged angels. It is only when we help each other that we can fly.”