Pressures of praise

How pleasing it is to be praised! However, not all praise is beneficial. In fact, a number of studies carried out suggest that the wrong kind of praise can be harmful to learning and progress.

Wise thinkers and teachers have always known this to be true. Consider this true story. There was once a Rabbi who was revered as a man of God.

Crowds of people went to him seeking advice and solace. Hardly was there an occasion when a suppliant was disappointed. The only exception among his admirers was a disagreeable man. He never missed an opportunity to contradict him and expose him as a hoax. He would observe the Rabbi’s weaknesses and make fun of his defects. Everyone was dismayed, but could not stop him.

One day, the man took ill and died. There was a common sigh of relief. No one gave vent to his feelings, but all were glad, for no longer would the Master be reviled and persecuted. Great was their surprise therefore when their Master was plunged into genuine grief at his funeral. Later, when a disciple made bold to ask whether he was mourning over the just fate that awaited him, the Rabbi hastened to explain, ‘No, not at all. I mourn over a friend who is doubtless now in heaven. It was for myself that I was grieving. That man was my true friend. While all the others revered me, he was the only one who challenged me. I am afraid that with him gone, I shall stop growing!’
And with this, he burst into tears.

As Norman Vincent Peale has said, ‘the trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.’

Constant praise has other drawbacks as well. It can turn into an addiction, making the person lean heavily on it for security and self-confidence.

There are, for example, movie stars who go to sleep at night with tape-recorded applause. The more they are praised, the greater their appetite for it.

On the other hand, as soon as it becomes scarce, they lose confidence and become depressed. Too much adulation also results in tyrannical behaviour coupled with unreasonable demands, as it did with Hitler and Stalin.

Praise, when it is well deserved, is both affirming and encouraging, but, given inappropriately, hinders rather than helps. It has been noticed that students praised highly for performing easy tasks get a false impression of their abilities. When asked how she inspired him, schoolteacher and mother of Nobel-prize winning economist, Joseph Stiglitz, said, ‘I don’t praise small children for doing what they ought to. I praise them when they do something that is difficult.’

In the wise words of the Bhagavad Gita, great achievers hold praise and blame, honour and dishonour to be the same. It is worthwhile to remember that praise is much like sugar – a little can enhance all things greatly, but too much will only succeed in spoiling them.