Mr Trump, you are simply titillating

The whole world seems hooked onto the TV drama that is Donald Trump’s presidential campaign. From being roasted by the liberal establishment in power during Barack Obama’s term in office as essentially being a joke, Mr Trump seems to have turned the tables, or spun the top, on the entire Washington ‘House of Cards’ elite by destroying them in a wildly popular Presidential run.

Poor Obama now has to explain to the world how this entertaining billionaire seems to the American people to be more competent than any Republican running, and how he may even win the Presidency on a campaign built around, variously, the size of his penis, the mocking of Jeb Bush – who couldn’t even mention his last name in his campaign – banning Muslims from entering the US, and the inimitable slogan of ‘Make America Great Again’.

The Democrats seem absolutely stunned. Obama still is. He thought the Presidency was for serious people doing serious things like the Iran deal, peace in Palestine, solving poverty, hunger, disease – you know, all the things good bleedin’ heart liberals believed so deeply in.

But no, wait, is there a rule saying that only bleeding heart liberals may occupy the Presidency of the US (surely, even Reagan was a liberal compared to Trump), though on second thoughts, one doesn’t even know whether Trump is a liberal or conservative.

What is for sure is that – as he has made so clear himself – for him issues don’t even matter, and he isn’t even a politician, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is his calling card. ‘The politicians are rippin’ America off. China and India are rippin’ America off. Our (America’s) leaders are too smart for Washington pols. They’re rippin’ America off. Make America Great Again.’

Hillary’s the idiot here. She sure seems like it when her slogan is Make America Whole Again. I mean, what kind of slogan is that? Whole? Does anyone – no I mean it – does anyone in the world vote for making things whole versus making things GREAT? This could not be more Calvin and Hobbesesque. Pfft.

The real problem for mainstream Republicans, to be perfectly straight with you, is that they’re all losers. No like seriously, Jeb Bush? Marco Rubio? Who would ever vote for them? At least with Trump, I would think, if I were god-forbid an American, we would know who we’re getting. But these shady dealers? Come on. They’re all bought. Trump’s a billionaire. No one can buy him. It’s all WYSIWYG, and who doesn’t like WYSIWYG.

Especially when what he’s saying is that he’s successful, he’s always been successful, (even if he has declared bankruptcy on the side four times) and everyone in America loves a successful guy. I mean, it’s like Vijay Mallya in his next avatar versus, I don’t know, Raghuram Rajan? I mean, everybody knows Rajan and Clinton are competent but you know, have they created an iconic Kingfisher calendar?

The art of winning

The point is that the competent people, the liberals, they’re all great guys and gals, but winning is an art, and in any art, you need that je ne sais qua. And does Rajan really have an election in him? Come on, we’d all cheer him on, but you know, as Rajan himself recently spelled out in a lecture to students at an elite Delhi University, there’s a reason people elect Laluji and Yeddyurappa, not to mention K J George.

‘Corrupt politicians make the civil service work’. Aka, the people couldn’t care whether a politician in India is corrupt, as long as they get their services. Aka, honest, clean-shaven professors from elite B-school’s don’t stand any more of a chance than establishment pols like Jeb Bush. The point is, Trump is wiping the carpet with the Repub establishment at the moment. And, it’s both scary and bloody funny.

So. Trump. People are getting anxiety over his election. I, myself, am almost hysterical. What will he do? He’ll blow up the whole world. Apparently, according to Foreign Policy magazine, he’s discovered America’s worst kept secret – that no one knows what the US nuclear arsenal is actually good for. Most people, I think, for the sake of their sanity, are deluding themselves into believing he will never find out the answer.

On the other hand, it seems like Trump may well fit in to the Indian stereotype of politician, if not American – entertainer par excellence. No particular talent except garnering votes. Stinking rich. No commitment to reducing the suffering of the aam aadmi. No particular opinion on anything.

In any case, no one cares about his opinion because he’s been a Democrat and a Republican almost at his convenience in the past, and people vote for him anyway. Thus, a convenient flexibility that is a requirement in politics.

The only difference between him and normal politicians is that he is blunt about his so-called lack of caring and he is so politically incorrect that he has made political incorrectness politically correct. In sum, I proclaim him, Artist.