Gifting them the power of choice

their own decision

Jagan’s parents wanted him to take up a career in Medicine while he aspired to pursue Engineering. Due to the pressure, Jagan ended up choosing Biology in +2, but lost interest and focus on academics and his grades started to fall.

This is just one of the many examples prevalent in our society today. Families often pressurise children to take up a career stream that is more likely to enhance their standing among family and social circles, rather than encouraging them to take up the one that suits their traits and are more likely to be happy in. In many cases, the issue of social prestige of parents gets more importance than the child’s own career preferences. If the child wishes to take a career path different from what is generally preferred in the family, the unspoken assumption within the family circles is that the child is not intellectually ‘up to mark’ and therefore has had to take a career stream less prestigious than what many in their family have chosen.

This trend begs some questions for parents when making career choices for children: “Are we seeking ‘honour education’ for our children — something that enhances our prestige within our social circles, but one that does not excite our children? Or fails to give them a sense of happiness and accomplishment? If so, what are we really gaining by doing so? An unhappy child in an unhappy career, all for a transient feeling of ‘keeping up the family prestige?”

Unhealthy attitude

This phenomenon of compelling children into courses and careers which parents think is ‘appropriate’ to retain or enhance the ‘family status’, though appearing to be very limited, is actually quite strong. Of course, in most such cases, parents really have the best intentions for their child. But those good intentions become a burden for the child when he or she wishes to do something different.

With a myriad of parental responsibilities, it is a huge challenge for parents to help the career development of their children. One of the challenges is to keep up with rapidly changing career opportunities. Another is to guide them through appropriate career decision-making and planning process. Parents have always had a huge influence on the career choices of their children. But it is also true that in today’s context, children have a wider choice of careers and their friends and social circles can have an important influence on their career preferences. In this context, parents’ role is critical in tempering the child’s impulsive and wavering mind, and guide them in making a lasting career choice and if possible, help the kids discover their passion in life.

While it is different for every family, here are some helpful guidelines for parents to help their children in making the right choice:

Spend time with your child and discuss the pros and cons of possible career choices. This need not be done in a formal manner, but rather as part of daily conversations with the child.

Do a SWOT analysis (Strength, Weakness, Opportunities and Threat) of your child, your family. This will help you to understand what factors will support or hinder potential career options and also give you an idea of the resources that you need to provide for your child’s career development.

Identify if your child is feeling pressurised by you or his/her peers. Analyse how to manage it.

Do you feel your child is making a very unwise career option — something that you don’t agree with or do not have the resources to support? If yes, discuss it with your child and reason it out with them. Share your concerns and experience. If needed, seek professional help.

In this age of nuclear families and involved parenting, parents are more than just parents; they are their child’s friend, guide and mentor. Career decision-making can be a highly stressful and difficult challenge for the child as well as for the parents. The marketplace is constantly changing and young minds are constantly bombarded with questions and options. A parent, who has a healthy involvement in the child’s career choice without being imposing, can ensure that child emerges as a winner in career as well as in life.

Roles to play

Parents and teachers have a critical role in laying the groundwork on which students can build satisfying careers and lives. They can support students in career planning, by giving them a realistic sense of work, providing information on possible career choices and encouraging them to focus on their interests and values.

They can also contribute through familiarising themselves with the available aptitude and ability tests used in career counselling. There are several ‘interest inventories’ that can help identify and rank students career interests. Support can be taken from career counsellors who may be conversant with using these tools. And based on the outcome of these interest-assessment tools, students can be encouraged to learn to prioritise their interests and abilities.

Along with using assessment tools, teachers can encourage self-reflection and experiential learning among students and encourage them to self-evaluate their abilities and interests.

Also, youngsters tend to focus only on the lifestyle part of an occupation and may not take other factors into account. It can be of immense help, if students are able to get a preview of their preferred occupation’s actual job activities and information such as salaries, benefits and responsibilities.

For teachers who don’t know where to start, here are some guidelines:

Encourage activities that require goal setting and follow through.

Expose children to the world of work (visits to parents’ workplace; guest speakers).

Organise volunteer work projects.

Facilitate entrepreneurship and/or leadership activities.

Link students’ hobbies and leisure activities to possible careers.

Provide exposure to non-conventional careers and role models.

Another important part of career planning is managing the emotional dimension. When students are confused about their career choices, it results in confusion and stress. Parents and teachers can act as sounding board to reduce this. Nowadays, as a result of increased awareness of this issue among parents and teachers, it is not uncommon for them to have ‘open talk sessions’ with the children. Such interactions help the children to gain clarity and have better emotional bonding with their parents and teachers, whose inputs and experiences are an invaluable source of learning. When parents or teachers find that these sessions are not bringing about the desired results, they may consider taking recourse to professional counselling to overcome the challenges.

Finally, one aspect parents and teachers need to keep in mind when supporting career planning of youngsters is that children’s interest may change over time due to changing environment, maturity and exposure to new experiences. Therefore, the goal should be to help students understand that they are capable of creating their own future.

(Anuradha is associate professor of Psychology, Christ University, Bengaluru and Sathiyaseelan is visiting professor, SIBM, Bengaluru)