Dog walkers

Forgive me if I sound mean. But, people walking their dogs in the morning can be a constant source of humour. Dressed impeccably from head to toe, they grandly set out with their dogs on designer leashes. With their noses up in the air, both the dogs and their owners, literally look down upon those of us who walk in human company, without a dog in tow. They befriend fellow dog walkers and any conversation they have is effortlessly directed back to the topic of dogs. They exchange dog notes, like people who like their dogs and despise people who don’t, seem to remember people by associating them with their dogs, and in any new meeting the dogs are introduced first.

The conversation that flows effortlessly between fellow dog walkers is worth lending an ear to. For, they refer to themselves as mummies and daddies of their dogs and talk about them the way other people talk about their children. In a great show of affection, they coo, cluck, whistle and make kissy noises to their dogs all along. They even lovingly pat their backs and kiss them on their snouts, even when they know where their snouts had been, and readily accept their slobbery kisses.

As dogs go sniffing around, their owners dutifully follow. When dogs spot the right pole, tree or car tyre to lift their hind legs up to do the act, dog owners happily let them do it, unmindful of the ugly stares darted by crusaders of clean environment. Worse still, when dogs decide to empty their bowels, they either choose the walkway or the well-manicured lawn in the park and their owners have no problem with it. They lovingly watch their dogs’ rearsides even as poop pops out. I often wonder how something as disgusting as dog poop can evoke such a Buddha-esque expression in dog owners’ faces!

The most hilarious part of trailing dog walkers is when dogs play and forget to do their ‘job’ while their owners sheepishly grin at passerby while reminding their dogs what they are out there for with a loud, “Pee now”.

Here’s a brain teaser. Why do most dogs sport foreign names? It’s always Benzy, Rocky, Snoopy or Daisy, localised to Benji, Raakhi, Snoofy or Daijy, much to our comic delight. It also baffles me no end that dogs are always spoken to in English. While it’s the vernacular with family and friends, it is always ‘come, go, sit’ in English for dogs.

Never mind, yank the comic leash and thank god for giving a reason to laugh about every morning. It’s a dog’s world after all!

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