<p>In this WFH era, homework, or rather housework, has become a tricky issue. And nothing renders genders asunder than what he does/she does around the house. Through the last lockdown year, there’s been a craze, especially among newly-wed homemakers, for ordering labour-saving gadgets and fancy kitchen gizmos like never before. But then someone (who?) has to plug in, switch on, and run it all!</p>.<p>About a year ago, my good pal Maddy married his great love, Molly. After we’d all showered our blessings of fresh jasmines over our laptops and iPads, as they got married Zoom-style, we were pleased to send them only truly useful household appliances as gifts, from a registry the couple had cleverly set up. Bread-toaster, Brinjal-roaster, <span class="italic">Chutney</span>-churner, Gas-burner, Pesto-grinder, Car keys-finder, Tomato-washer, Potato-smasher… they had them all.</p>.<p>Maddy and Molly’s early days of home-bound marital bliss were splendid. Their living room was often their loving room, the bathroom was full of steamy happenings, and something other than food was stirring in the kitchen. But one fine day the lockdown lifted. Maddy decided to step out and meet some office buddies at a pub. But not before he lovingly made a delicious one-pot meal in their instachef cooker for Molly.</p>.<p>“A husband like yours is hard to find,” said Molly’s sister. Soon that started coming true, Maddy was hard to find — especially at home. He seemed to be always out meeting someone, somewhere…now that his office had opened up, and he was no longer working from home. Leaving Molly to cope with all the housework, along with her office work. Molly thought longingly of the days when she was always ready to sink into his arms. Nowadays, her arms were always in the sink.</p>.<p>Soon, even the laundry started to pile up. When I popped over to see how my wrinkle-buster-iron gift was doing, I saw only overflowing dirty linen in buckets. “Has Maddy changed lately?” I asked Molly. “I encourage him not to. Who’s going to do all the washing and ironing?”</p>.<p>We couldn’t even have a good cup of coffee. “My Jiffy-Coffy maker broke down,” said Molly. But isn’t Maddy good at fixing things, I wondered. “I was in for a shock — like the shock that damn appliance itself gave me. Maddy hasn’t done a thing about it,” said a tired Molly. </p>.<p>Molly began to care less and less about how their home looked or smelled. Soon even the resident rats and cockroaches started to look at the classifieds for new houses to go live in. One day Maddy walked into a totally unkempt home, and asked, “When will you straighten out the house, honey?” She replied, “Why? Is it tilted?” Maddy found that his wife had ordered some more flipcart packages. That’s when he flipped himself. “With your electric foot-massager, electric floor-swabber, electric plant-waterer, I now have no place to sit!”</p>.<p>“So how about I buy you an electric chair?” retorted Molly. When Maddy didn’t laugh at all, she said, “Hey can’t you take a joke?” Maddy replied, “Sure. I took you, didn’t I?” Maddy noticed that Molly had also ordered a book which said ‘This Book will cut your housework in half’.</p>.<p>“Maybe you should have ordered two of these books,” said Maddy sarcastically. And so it went on and on, till their relationship almost broke down, along with their electric automatic garbage-tin detoxifier. “It’s time we spoke about the elephant in the room,” said Maddy finally. “Oh sure, let’s do that. You don’t do a thing in the house anymore,” declared Molly. “Wait! I’m talking about that awful wooden elephant on our coffee table that your aunt gave us as a wedding gift. Of what earthly use is that I ask you,” demanded Maddy. And that led to a new round of fighting about her relatives versus his. </p>.<p>Last week, I nervously rang up Molly to see how things were going. Hey, what are you making today? I asked casually to keep things light. “A baby!” replied Molly excitedly. “Maddy bought this cool ovulation-detecting-device to strap around my head that makes it all so efficient; we’ve slotted time today to create Baby Madly, the non-gender-specific name decided on by our new electronic name generator. We’ll let you all know about our Zoom baby shower soon!”</p>.<p>If you hear of any labour-saving gadget that may help during Molly’s labour, do let me know. </p>.<p><em>(<span class="italic">He said/She said is a monthly column on gender issues — funny side up. The author switched to a career in advertising/writing as world markets may have collapsed if she ever became an economist. She was a travel writer till the pandemic restricted all travel to her TV set in the living room. Reach her at <br />indubee8@yahoo.co.in)</span></em></p>
<p>In this WFH era, homework, or rather housework, has become a tricky issue. And nothing renders genders asunder than what he does/she does around the house. Through the last lockdown year, there’s been a craze, especially among newly-wed homemakers, for ordering labour-saving gadgets and fancy kitchen gizmos like never before. But then someone (who?) has to plug in, switch on, and run it all!</p>.<p>About a year ago, my good pal Maddy married his great love, Molly. After we’d all showered our blessings of fresh jasmines over our laptops and iPads, as they got married Zoom-style, we were pleased to send them only truly useful household appliances as gifts, from a registry the couple had cleverly set up. Bread-toaster, Brinjal-roaster, <span class="italic">Chutney</span>-churner, Gas-burner, Pesto-grinder, Car keys-finder, Tomato-washer, Potato-smasher… they had them all.</p>.<p>Maddy and Molly’s early days of home-bound marital bliss were splendid. Their living room was often their loving room, the bathroom was full of steamy happenings, and something other than food was stirring in the kitchen. But one fine day the lockdown lifted. Maddy decided to step out and meet some office buddies at a pub. But not before he lovingly made a delicious one-pot meal in their instachef cooker for Molly.</p>.<p>“A husband like yours is hard to find,” said Molly’s sister. Soon that started coming true, Maddy was hard to find — especially at home. He seemed to be always out meeting someone, somewhere…now that his office had opened up, and he was no longer working from home. Leaving Molly to cope with all the housework, along with her office work. Molly thought longingly of the days when she was always ready to sink into his arms. Nowadays, her arms were always in the sink.</p>.<p>Soon, even the laundry started to pile up. When I popped over to see how my wrinkle-buster-iron gift was doing, I saw only overflowing dirty linen in buckets. “Has Maddy changed lately?” I asked Molly. “I encourage him not to. Who’s going to do all the washing and ironing?”</p>.<p>We couldn’t even have a good cup of coffee. “My Jiffy-Coffy maker broke down,” said Molly. But isn’t Maddy good at fixing things, I wondered. “I was in for a shock — like the shock that damn appliance itself gave me. Maddy hasn’t done a thing about it,” said a tired Molly. </p>.<p>Molly began to care less and less about how their home looked or smelled. Soon even the resident rats and cockroaches started to look at the classifieds for new houses to go live in. One day Maddy walked into a totally unkempt home, and asked, “When will you straighten out the house, honey?” She replied, “Why? Is it tilted?” Maddy found that his wife had ordered some more flipcart packages. That’s when he flipped himself. “With your electric foot-massager, electric floor-swabber, electric plant-waterer, I now have no place to sit!”</p>.<p>“So how about I buy you an electric chair?” retorted Molly. When Maddy didn’t laugh at all, she said, “Hey can’t you take a joke?” Maddy replied, “Sure. I took you, didn’t I?” Maddy noticed that Molly had also ordered a book which said ‘This Book will cut your housework in half’.</p>.<p>“Maybe you should have ordered two of these books,” said Maddy sarcastically. And so it went on and on, till their relationship almost broke down, along with their electric automatic garbage-tin detoxifier. “It’s time we spoke about the elephant in the room,” said Maddy finally. “Oh sure, let’s do that. You don’t do a thing in the house anymore,” declared Molly. “Wait! I’m talking about that awful wooden elephant on our coffee table that your aunt gave us as a wedding gift. Of what earthly use is that I ask you,” demanded Maddy. And that led to a new round of fighting about her relatives versus his. </p>.<p>Last week, I nervously rang up Molly to see how things were going. Hey, what are you making today? I asked casually to keep things light. “A baby!” replied Molly excitedly. “Maddy bought this cool ovulation-detecting-device to strap around my head that makes it all so efficient; we’ve slotted time today to create Baby Madly, the non-gender-specific name decided on by our new electronic name generator. We’ll let you all know about our Zoom baby shower soon!”</p>.<p>If you hear of any labour-saving gadget that may help during Molly’s labour, do let me know. </p>.<p><em>(<span class="italic">He said/She said is a monthly column on gender issues — funny side up. The author switched to a career in advertising/writing as world markets may have collapsed if she ever became an economist. She was a travel writer till the pandemic restricted all travel to her TV set in the living room. Reach her at <br />indubee8@yahoo.co.in)</span></em></p>