Social media changing relationships: Expert

Considering the changing family system and teenagers’ exposure to social media, even a 10-year-old should be considered an adolescent who can be drawn towards a relationship with the opposite sex, a psychologist has opined.

Dr Manjula M, Assistant Professor, Department of Psychology, Nimhans, said that earlier children between the age of 15 and 20 were considered adolescents. It is, however, mostly late adolescents aged between 14 and 18 years who are more drawn towards a relationship with the opposite sex.

“While in a few instances, it (the relationship) is just to experiment, in others, it is a craving for psychological dependance that draws them towards it,” Dr Manjula added.
Such a change in attitude is important given that adolescents have been learning to be independent which permits them to explore and experiment.

But if boundaries are not drawn, it leads to an increase in cyber crimes and the misuse of social media.

The relationship between a 14-year-old girl and a 22-year-old man, which ended in the former’s suicide, is a case in point.

The couple had little knowledge that their “harmless” Facebook friendship, chatting and a few meetings would lead to so much emotional distress that the girl would end her life.

Such problems arise at a young age especially with children who do not have close bonding with parents. With parents having less time for interaction, there is a lack of a support system to children, Manjula explained.

In the process of identity creation, an adolescent is subjected to various factors, of which he/she is not mature enough to distinguish between the right and wrong.

“For almost everyone, a Facebook account has now become an identity,” Dr Manjula added. Be it relationship status, number of friends or looks (photos), adolescents have a false notion that it signifies the reality.

“When they update everything they feel on their status, it might be a good way of venting it all out. What they do not understand is how vulnerable they become after that,” she said. “Parents or elder siblings in whom they have faith must teach them to deal with emotions.”

No parental supervision

Lack of parental supervision and communication gap in relationships are quite tough for them to handle. “They are not emotionally mature to handle the breakdown. They would not have seen much of disappointment either in their lives,” she said, adding that it was then that they would take extreme steps.

“When someone goes to such an extent as to feel uncomfortable after craving for checking Facebook messages and feels he/she cannot live without seeing it, it is time parents were alert as these are typical symptoms of addiction.”

Shil Balsingh, Principal, Kendriya Vidyalaya, DRDO, said that having children involved in various other activities could channelise their energy in the right way. “Parents should be open. They should not check but have discussions,” she added.

Besides, to some extent, the provocative advertisements flashed on the internet also draw adolescents towards exploring further, she said.