Detached attachment

Oasis

“Along with the development of concentration, we must develop the power of detachment”

— Swami Vivekananda

The two words attachment and detachment can be defined by what one is and what one is not respectively. Attachment is a special feeling like affection, fondness, sympathy, etc. that makes one connect to someone or something, brimming with emotion and mostly unconditional. Detachment neither is about a feeling of hatred or anger nor indifference or an attitude of disengagement towards someone or something, instead, a practice of equanimity devoid of any emotions.

A human being is strongly attached to one’s body, as well in the realm of emotions to outside things perceived by sensory organs. Body parts are not necessarily viewed as organs that carry out various functions, but as an integral part to enhance the sense of attachment. Then one’s family like spouse and children qualify, before the material pursuits like house, car, etc. enter the magnetic field to increase emotional attachment.

“I and plus I want” aspects fall under the scope of attachment. When acquired it enhances pleasure while the opposite causes a strong sense of non-acceptance or hatred, which is the root cause of our joy and misery respectively. Emotions ride a wide gamut of extremes and can be actively managed with a conscious sense of detachment.

Detachment is to let go of one’s expectations of the fruits or outcome of one’s efforts. In the Bhagavad Gita Lord Krishna beautifully enshrines this concept in “karmanye vaadikaraste…,” where he directs Arjuna to do his labour but not be attached to the fruits.

‘Detached attachment’ is the optimal mantra where the feeling of ownership is eliminated and replaced with a feeling of ‘custodianship.’ An ownership feeling creates a sense of attachment in an implicit manner, whereas a custodian feeling creates a sense of detachment with a pure sense of love. This is true in the case of spouse, children, parents where one can continue to shower love, but the emotional attachment can be minimized.

Detachment helps in maintaining composure in the midst of a tumultuous storm. Right in the eye of the storm, this disposition helps to maintain equanimity to navigate the high and low tides of life journey to arrive safely at the bank of peace.