Getting waylaid on the internet

The Digital Alarmist

Imagine yourself taking a virtual tour of the ‘garden city’ of Bengaluru and you find yourself at the intersection of MG Road and Brigade Road. Since your ultimate goal is to look at the menu offerings of some newly opened exotic restaurant on Church Street, you plan to turn right on MG Road to Brigade Road, walk a couple of hundred yards to Church Street, turn right, walk another few dozen yards to get to the restaurant. Once you are inside the restaurant, you are going to check out the menu and the prices. At least, that is your plan. As we all know, even the best-laid plans come to nought at the most unexpected of times. This is especially so in the virtual world we all inhabit.

What could possibly go wrong, you ask? Remember the old riddle, “How much do I love thee? Let me count the ways”?

First of all, there are any number of shops on both sides of Brigade Road with a web presence that are just waiting for you to step inside to sample their wares. If it reminds you of walking through the red-light district of any major city, you are not too far off the mark. Assuming you get past these stores, you will find that there are just as many shops and, not to mention, restaurants on Church Street between you and your intended destination that beckon you. You do not have to worry about the ones that do not advertise on the web since you are not even aware of their existence. As for the shops in the little side streets and alleyways, well, they can be ignored. Out of sight, out of mind. Forget about Robert Frost and his poem on taking the road less travelled.

Since you are curious by nature and, of course, like many people, cannot resist a bargain, you step into one of the stores on Brigade Road. Big mistake. The cornucopia of offerings in the store has you overwhelmed. The sale prices on many of the items are simply unbelievable. But only if you are willing to get the store’s app. For which you will have to give the store your email address and your telephone number. No problem.

But wait. Your smartphone tells you that the store next door has an even better deal in exchange for your email address and telephone number. Plus, your first-born. Once again, no problem.

As you are getting ready to sign up, you check your smartphone again. There is a store on Avenue Road which is having a ‘50% off’ sale. Better yet, there are several stores in KR Market which are advertising rebates of up to 90% with free home delivery. You don’t have to give up your first-born, but you will have to sign up for a year’s subscription to the local gym. And Netflix. Excellent deal.

What about the menu you wanted to look at in the exotic restaurant on Church Street? Forget that. Why waste time at a sit-down restaurant when there are any number of fast-food outlets in town? Which one is it going to be – McDonald’s, Dominoes, or KFC?

Better check on your smartphone. You may have some coupons that are still valid.