Looking back often moves us forward

Regret is a fundamental part of human life. It is natural for us to have regrets for all the sins of omission and commission that we are guilty of. It is easy along the journey of life to be carried away by the everyday humdrum and its several preoccupations. But as the years mount and old age creeps in, the aftermath can be a painful process of self interrogation. Moral regrets are those that are caused by poor behaviour or compromising on the values that we have prided ourselves on.

Wisdom lies in understanding that the moment of weakness is not worth the pain that follows. True remorse is never just a regret over consequence, it is a regret over the motive. Why have I done what I have done? Have I acted in good faith?

Regrets arise when we neglect people who helped establish our own sense of worth and fullness or hurt others, which is so unequivocally wrong that on reflection we are filled with a feeling of devastation. In the solitude of the mind as we reminisce people and events that have long gone, we realise the wrongs we have committed; the conscience we have stilled. And the transcendental questions that worry us: Have we loved enough? Have we forgiven enough? Have we forgotten enough? Have we accepted the good and the bad with equal grace? Have we dared to raise our voices or have we turned our faces away when things did not seem quite right? All this begets regret and with it, expiation a sense of redemption and transformation into a better self.

There are also regrets over personal choices made during our life's journey down a particular road, a poignant reminder of "all the roads not taken". It is in our hidden encounter with our regrets that we find ourselves. Regret makes us more humane; it is the survival tool of humankind. Regret is a reflection of what most people value in their lives; regrets reflect our own inner voices. John Steinbeck says in East of Eden, "A man after he has brushed off the dust and chips of his life will have left only the hard clear questions: Was it good or evil? Have I done ill or well? This introspection will lead us on. Looking backward moves us forward.”