Are we what we think we are?

“Man is not what he thinks he is, but he is what he hides.” I read this saying of André Malraux only recently, and I agree with it completely because of a personal experience. It is said that we have three aspects to our personalities: one is what we think of ourselves as, one is what others think of us, and one is what we actually are.

What we think of ourselves as is, more often than not, what determines how we behave, and our behaviour, we believe, determines what others think of us.

However, what we really are is hidden from others, either because we deliberately hide it from others or because we are unaware of how we actually are. What we really are comes to the fore only rarely and in some specific circumstances, like when we are in a crisis situation or under tremendous pressure, or conversely, when we are in a position of power and authority.

This is exactly what happened with me when I had to deal with a person whom I have known for several years now and always thought of as a large-hearted and generous person. This time, his personal gain was at stake if he played fairly.

Lo and behold, his real self penetrated out of the layers of his assumed personality and gave me the shock of my life. The image of him as a large-hearted and generous person fell like a pack of cards.

If this is true for him, it can be true for any of us.

We may hold any opinion of ourselves, but many a times we are totally unaware of how we really are. Therefore, if we want a glimpse of how we really are, we must watch ourselves when we are in a crisis situation or when we deal with others when we are in a position of power.

Do we find ourselves behaving like we normally do, or do we find a meaner and a baser version of ourselves emerging?

For if it does, then it will be in our favour to take immediate action and work on making our inner self such that when it reveals itself to us, we are not ashamed of it.