The 3 don’ts in the manual of life

Oasis

Most gadgets come with a manual, and a list of Do’s and Don’ts. The Ten Commandments too establish rules of worship and forbid certain negative activities.

Three definite Don’ts we should follow strictly in life are: promise when happy; react when angry; decide when sad.

Examples of all three exist in instances of the Ramayana. King Dashrath was extremely pleased with one of his three wives – Kaikeyi for saving his life in a battle and promised to grant her a boon. She said she would avail of his promissory boon at some later date, when she would really needed something. In his happy state of mind, the king did not imagine this would have devastating repercussions of a 14 year exile for his favourite son and crown prince Rama. This grief ultimately caused the death of King Dashrath.

If only Lakshman had not reacted in anger at Shurpanakha’s advances, she in turn would not have sought vengeance and instigated her brother Ravan to kidnap Sita and invite his own downfall. Krishna states krodh or anger as being one of the worst vices along with kaam, lobh, moh and ahankar (lust, greed, attachment and pride) that lead to degradation of the soul. That he practised what he preached can be seen in the incident where he remained calm when his cousin Shishupal was darting abuses at him. He waited patiently as promised to his aunt earlier, kept check and count till 100 abuses were uttered before retaliating with his Sudarshan chakra. If only Shishupal too had control over his anger!

Relieved to witness the first meeting between her estranged husband and their sons after so many years, Sita did not know what fate had in store for her. When Rama asked her to join them, the memory of her Agni Pariksha and later parting from him, filled her with a strong sense of sadness and foreboding and she called upon the earth to engulf her in her folds forever and she merged with her mother. Emotional state of sadness hinders rationality and often initiates irrevocable decisions that leave loved ones in eternal grief. So, it is best to put off any decision till the dark, dismal clouds of melancholy have passed on.