The loneliness of being free

It is strange that in the era of connectivity loneliness has become a silent epidemic striking both the old and the young. Understandably, the elderly feel lonely simply because of the pain of actually living alone. Illness could make them feel isolated or it could be a bereavement. They can respond by looking inward and seeking a connect with divinity. Do not feel lonely, says the Sufi poet Rumi, the entire universe is inside you.

When young adults and millennials get afflicted, it is a matter of concern. As they become reclusive and start withdrawing from all social and economic obligations, the situation is alarming. Kafka could well have been talking to them when he said, ‘You are free and that is why you are lost.’

Young adults, having grown up with technology, often feel social anxiety and are not able to communicate with people. They may live in neighbourhoods where they cannot relate to people around them. The constant availability of online contact makes them believe that they do not need friends. The small courtesies and sacrifices required to maintain a relationship or friendship seem like too much work. Millennials are bogged down by pressures that restrict the inclination for social activities which bring them in contact with people. This brings us right back to the age-old wisdom of sociality and friendship being superior to relationships lacking human intimacy. The experience of global technological connectivity can give the impression of ultimate freedom. Unlimited connections without commitment suggest an exciting freedom from obligation, responsibility, and concern.

Paradoxically, the unlimited connections of the digital world are accompanied by isolation in the real world. This isolation is not solitude. It is self-indulgent, depressive, and destructive, bringing with it extreme loneliness. While interactive media connect families, Passive digital indulgence can impact both physical and mental health. A more intellectual loneliness comes from holding views which people do not accept. When friendships are on the decline for lack of trust and relationships are emotionally empty, self-help becomes the first option. The young should perhaps seek the joy of non-digital activity.

Even Lord Krishna cannot escape this necessity as he tells his friend Arjuna: ‘There is nothing in the three worlds, O Partha, that should be done by me, nor anything unattainable that may be attained; yet I mingle in action.’