Break the shackles

Break the shackles

Sexi Saheli is a weekly column of answers to questions you never dared to ask. If something is troubling you and there’s not a soul you can speak to, write to Sexi Saheli at sexisaheli@deccanherald.co.in.

Yo SS,
I have this best friend ... he is sweet but he is kinda weird also! He asks me for sanitary napkins. At first, I thought he needed it for a friend but it happened on a weekly basis. I thought that was sus and insisted on knowing why he was borrowing them from me. He said that he likes using them for himself. I said that there was nothing wrong with that but I cannot keep giving him napkins all the time and asked him to buy them from the pharmacy. He is kinda hurt now and embarrassed! IDK what to do.
Sho

Yo Sho,
Pad-en me for saying, but your BFF may be going through some gender identity issues. If you are a true friend, have some honest conversations with him about whether he is a girl trapped in a boy’s body. He is probably going through a horrible period in his life right now, and you have to be supportive. If you can’t supply him with free pads, at least offer to buy it for him with his money. As he figures out between he and she, be there for him. After all, that’s what best pads do.

My Dear Saheli,
I am a 60-year-old woman who is a lesbian. Nobody in my family knows about this as when I realised I was gay, homosexuality was still illegal in India. Now, with the new law, we are at least free from punitive action. Do you think I should come out of the closet at my age?
Secret Lady

My Dear Secret Lady,
Yes, you must come out! I can only imagine how terrible it must have been all these years to carry your secret like a chain around your heart. Begin by telling your immediate family and friends. Don’t worry about their reaction. Get used to saying, ‘I am a lesbian’ aloud. To be your authentic self is the greatest freedom you can gift yourself. So step out of those closed doors for, the only thing that is happy living in a closet is a spider. 

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