Monkey numbers

There is a bombardment of data in news regarding the Covid pandemic. There have been claims and counter-claims about the data. This reminds me of an incident that had occurred in the pre-independence period and was narrated to me by a retired bureaucrat when I was undergoing training at the Administrative Training Institute, Mysore, in 1983.

Monkeys destroying banana plantations in the Nanjanagud region of the Mysore district was a longstanding problem. Every farmer tried to drive them away but in vain. At last, the farmers requested the Dewan to find a solution and also asked him to compensate them for having lost the crop. The Dewan asked the Mysore district deputy commissioner to report, “the extent of banana plantation damaged by the monkeys and the number of monkeys in Nanjangud taluk”

The deputy commissioner after going through the letter passed the buck to Nanjanagud tahsildar to furnish the information sought by the Dewan. Tahsildar was aghast because while he could furnish the extent of banana plantations affected by the monkeys, but could not the number of monkeys in the taluk.

The tahsildar as usual summoned all shyanboghs and directed them to furnish the information sought by the deputy commissioner. The shyanboghs too were perplexed— they did not know the number of monkeys— and expressed their inability in this regard. But one wise shanbhogh informed that there are 3,553 monkeys in the taluk. The tahsildar, who was mystified by this, asked him how he could authentically tell the number of monkeys in the taluk and if the deputy commissioner finds the actual number to be more or less than 3,553, how would he defend it?

He said: "Sir, instead of finding a solution to the monkey menace, is there any sense in asking about the number of monkeys in the taluk and is it possible to furnish the same? If he finds more monkeys than the number that we have furnished, let us tell him that the monkeys have come from the neighbouring taluks. If he finds less, let us tell him that the monkeys have gone out of the taluk."

The tahsildar reminisced the phrase: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics"