Wedding sans 'band, baaja & baraat'

Much before Yash Chopra came up with his blockbuster Band, Baaja, Baaraat, I had decided that my wedding will take place without any band, baaja and baaraat. “Also, there will be no crackers. Besides, the wedding will take place on a Sunday. In day hours, preferably noon or afternoon. And in a temple, not at any banquet hall of Patna”.

Before listing out the pre-conditions for a simple wedding to my in-laws, I had consulted my would-be wife, who was then doing her Masters in Economics from Ranchi Women’s College. She readily gave her nod saying she too found “the much fanfare at any wedding as sheer waste of money and unnecessary show off of wealth.”

Her views provided the clear evidence that we were on the same wavelength before starting a new chapter in our life in 1995.

The idea of a simple wedding on any Sunday afternoon at a temple sounded a bit revolutionary to some of my relatives but there were many who thought I was insane. And they had reasons to believe so.

In Bihar, if you are marrying without a hefty dowry, including a car, a house and loads of cash, then there is something amiss. Notwithstanding with what my friends or relatives said in a hush-hush tone, I was firm in what I had to do. In the next 48 hours, we got engaged at a simple function at a family friend’s house, before our parents, still in doldrums, could take a U-turn on this 'rishta' (relationship).

For record sake, my father was then a senior engineer working with the Bihar government, while my father-in-law was working with a multi-national pharma company.

Still not ready to believe as to how and why I was opting for a simple wedding in a state where people use a marriage function to display their status in the society, my father-in-law secretly engaged a ‘spy’ (not Pegasus) from my organisation to find out all the minutest details about me.

I was then a journalist working for a national newspaper. But I had no idea that I was under the lens. After the ‘spy’ found “everything okay”, my father-in-law gave his consent for his daughter’s marriage in November 1995.

The bride side eventually came from Ranchi to Patna. A nearby temple was fixed for the marriage function on a Sunday afternoon where five priests performed the rituals. Those present on the occasion rubbed their eyes in disbelief because in those days such an unconventional wedding was simply unthinkable.

At the end of the day, those who were taking a jibe at me by saying: “What kind of wedding is this?”, had to eat their words and say: “You have set a new precedence. Hope you will be a source of inspiration for others.”