JOIN USA friend of mine who always had staunch family principles was of marriageable age. She was in the throes of receiving proposals from eligible young men.
Many prospective grooms were handsome, holding good jobs and were from good families. She was a “catch” in her community. It was, therefore, no surprise that her father poured over the proposals, becoming almost obsessed with getting the best possible husband for his darling daughter.
Unfortunately, in his obsession, he began rejecting even good proposals on flimsy grounds. For example, there was a proposal which was almost “perfect”, but he rejected it because the groom’s cousin’s cousin was a divorcee!
Word soon spread about his extremely selective behaviour. Years passed, my friend turned 32 years olds, and was still unmarried. Meanwhile, her father passed away, leaving my friend single, unsettled and almost in the lurch as it were. All of us told her that she should have put her foot down when her father was alive, but she, being a family oriented person, brushed aside our remarks and supported her father.
The point to be noted here was that my friend’s father probably “failed” on account of his not being able to discern and infer the bigger picture.
In a marriage contract, two, willing adjusting partners have to see that their marriage works by sharing flexible, congenial bonds of compatibility. The two partners should each do their bit and the success of their marriage depends on that. What does it matter if one of the grandfathers of the groom died in mysterious circumstances? My friend’s father while having the interest of his daughter at heart went to such an extent that he had failed to see the bigger picture in a wider context.
Too many mistakes are made when people are drawn to the minor details — of the case in which one does not see the forest because of the trees. Instead of wallowing in small-mindedness, one should be or at least make one’s self broad minded and mature enough to view the situation in its totality without getting bogged down by trivialities.
The late Mother Teresa who won the Nobel Prize for Peace in 1979, too, was not spared by critics, who claimed that her motive for charity lay in her desire for publicity, that she had misappropriating funds and was attempting to convert neophytes to Christianity!
It is shocking how a woman of this stature, whose whole life was a saga of sacrifice could be accused thus. Her critics and detractors had indeed failed to see the bigger picture.
It is imperative that all endeavour to see in any situation the total package. One should see the overall persona, temperament, and attitude of the person and whether it is appreciable and acceptable to the majority of people. One should then eschew nit-picking for insignificant reasons. For, indeed, the bigger picture is a beautiful, sparkling and meaningful one – don’t let trivialities mar it.