JOIN USA poem that has left a lasting impression on my mind is William Cowper’s ‘The Solitude of Alexander Selkirk.’ It is the lament of a sailor who is shipwrecked and finds himself marooned on a faraway island.
In his lonely anguish, he declares that it is ‘better to live in the midst of alarms than reign in that horrible place.’ He finds himself ‘out of humanity’s reach’ fated ‘never to hear the sweet music of speech.’ In heart lies the need and longing for social bonding. It is only through such connectedness that we feel wanted, safe and fulfilled.
The philosopher, Gabriel Marcel, has gone so far as to say that we know our existence only through our relationships with others. He has asserted that ‘I know I am here because you are there responding to me.’ A process that begins at the very start of life.
Though the human being is superior to other animals in numerous ways, it is the human infant that is the most helpless when born. It is completely dependent for survival on its caregiver. Moreover, it needs continuous support in order to reach full growth. This extends, in some ways, till the individual draws his last. In a very compelling way, the poem shows us that deep within every human we experience existence in a full way only by reaching out to others.
This is in every way, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, it is others who help us picture who we are and provide us with a sense of identity. A good sense of identity comes from knowing one’s own strengths, weaknesses, goals and hopes.
While these are concepts that reside within one’s own mind, they gain meaning and life only when validated by those around us. The hard questions, ‘Who am I?’ and What am I?’ are answered largely through reference to and by others. Simple but precious joys can be had only through communion with others. We need to love and be loved. It is a never-ending circle, because we learn to love by receiving love.
Good relationships make us feel safe and supported. We are enabled to live without fear and to explore not only the physical world but the world of ideas as well. There is a wealth of meaning in the saying that ‘a joy shared is doubled and a sorrow shared cut in half’. There is no doubt that we are happier when we are with other people than when we are alone and, during times of stress, a kind and listening heart can work wonders to calm and soothe. No one leads a satisfying life living by himself or for himself. It is little wonder then that solitary confinement is looked upon as one of the most severe punishments ever devised.
It may be true, as Thomas De Quincy pointed out, that we come alone into the world and depart from it alone. He aimed to tell us that Man is no stranger to solitude. However, who can deny that the interval between these two events, which we call ‘Life’, is undoubtedly made sweeter, more meaningful and productive through companionship and togetherness?