Do you have the charm in you?

Some people simply glide into a hall, ooze their charisma, and leave behind a trail of swooning hearts when they exit, observes Rachna Chhabria

 

Some people have it in abundance. Others aspire for it. Like sex appeal, it’s truly intrinsic. You either possess it or you don’t. It’s the magnet that attracts people in droves. 

Call it charm, call it charisma. Call it what you will. It is a crown by itself. It is a rare personality trait that few possess. Unfortunately, you can’t buy it off the shelves. Nor is it hereditary. It’s not a subject taught in college, else everyone would be proud owners of the charisma degree. But some people just have it! Their charisma substitutes for beauty, luck, and social position.

They may not be too successful in life, but they possess the ability to instantly charm the pants or skirts off the people around them.

 The ability to be the center of attraction and attention is something only the charismatic people possess. When they enter a room, all eyes swivel towards them. People unconsciously move towards them. When they leave the room, they leave behind a trail of swooning hearts. Everyone wants to emulate them. 

Charisma is not flirtatious behaviour. Unlike flirts, charismatic people don’t send out sexual vibes. Infact, it’s the opposite. They instantly put people around them at ease by making them feel special. They are generous with their praise, as insecurity has passed by them without so much as a small rub. The feel-good vibes they send out are like subtle magnets. It is a pleasure being in their presence.  

Charismatic people are quick to admit flaws in themselves and own up to their mistakes as they don’t feel it will diminish their stature or personality. Their lack of insecurity stems from their inbuilt sense of confidence which cannot be measured in material objects.Such people display a warm sense of humour.

Their humour is neither derogatory nor offensive. Infact, as it is targeted on the vagaries of life, and often on themselves, it comes without the side effects of humiliation. They possess the ability to converse on any topic, however strange it may be. There is a playfulness in their conversations, a verbal banter of sorts. 

A lot can be conveyed through body language, and charismatic people are a testament to that fact. Such people never make any unnecessary movements. There is no puppet show with their hands. Nor do they display the fidgety movements of the bored. They are known for their poised and composed personality. They stand tall, shoulders straight, chin up, sometimes proud, but mostly confident. Good verbal skills and a firm handshake are their hallmarks. 

Charismatic people make good leaders as they possess the extraordinary power that inspires veneration and loyalty. They have the ability to influence people. When school teachers and principals have the aura of charisma in their personalities they  can charm even the naughtiest and brattiest students out of their tantrums. 

Charisma is one attribute that works very well for politicians. Such politicians can motivate and galvanize their followers into action. 

Mahatma Gandhi was one such charismatic socio-political leader. He played a major role in India’s non-violent freedom movement. The salt satyagraha is considered the peak of Gandhi’s charisma. Another charismatic political leader was Jawaharlal Nehru. His powerful oratorical skills stunned people. It was this that spread the popularity of his nationalist cause. The charm of such leaders makes their followers go along with them, without questioning. Their trust is based on implicit faith. 

Salesmen with charisma have the ability to sell ice-cubes to eskimos! Call it the “sales charisma”. Great salesmen draw on this trait of theirs to make people loosen their purse strings and pick up objects that they may never use! It is impossible to talk about charisma and not mention Actor Amitabh Bachchan. The way the Bollywood legend conducts himself on his popular show Kaun Banega Crorepati is a display of his charisma at its best. He isn’t called “THE Big B” simply because he is popular. 

Watching him can teach wannabe charisma aspirants a lesson or two. He possesses the ability to focus so completely on the person in the hot seat, that he makes that person feel special. There is a keenness in Mr Bachchan’s demeanor, like he is eager to hear what the contestants have to say. He is such a good listener (watch the rapt look on his face when he listens to people), even when they are repeating what thousand other people have said before them. 

Of course. Some are born with it. Some aren’t. But that doesn’t mean you can’t learn it. A few simple changes to your social skills can make the charisma scales swing in your favour. That done, you are ready to charm people like the Pied Piper of Hamelin!

How to be charismatic

*  A confident walk with even strides is the first step towards attracting people’s eyeballs.

*  A firm handshake is the first sign of confidence.

*  Use people’s names when conversing with them. It shows that not only have you taken the trouble to find out someone’s name but that you remember it as well. 

*  Be a good listener. When you listen to people without interrupting them, you make them feel important. It shows that you value what they have to say. This is an endearing quality.

*  Be generous with praise. Not the over-the-top flattery or gushing praise that reeks of sycophancy. Genuine compliments make people’s hearts swell with silent pride. Most people are smart enough to differentiate between glib talkers and genuine charmers.

*  Maintain eye contact while talking to people. Instead of focussing on the roof or the wall beyond, gently staring into the person’s eyes sends out warm vibes.
 *  Smiling from the heart (recollect a beautiful image when you smile) will be like the gentle sunshine on a cloudy day. It will instantly warm the other person’s heart.

*  A good posture makes for a great visual appeal. Stooped shoulders and a hunched back don’t inspire confidence. Stand tall with the spine straight. Sit with the shoulders back, hands over each other or clasped together.

*  Speak very clearly. Articulate every single word slowly and clearly. Keep your sentences short. One-liners make for very charming discussions.

 * Relax your body. Do not make any unnecessary limb movements. Excessive hand and feet movements are huge distractions. They take away the focus from what you speak.