Roaming Romeo

They bury the lovers in a common grave like two SIM cards in a single cell phone.

If Shakespeare had created Romeo and Juliet introducing mobile phones, the story might have unfolded somewhat like this: Montague and Capulet, the two warring heads of  rival cell phone companies in Verona, were always at loggerheads. Romeo the former’s son and Juliet the latter’s daughter chance to meet in a bash organised by Capulet to celebrate the launch of a new wafer thin android. 

That night Romeo vaults over the compound wall of Juliet’s house where she appears on the balcony in her nightie. “Oh, that I were a gleaming handset upon that hand. That I might touch that cheek,” Romeo warbles over his mobile.   Juliet in turn gushes. “Romeo! Romeo! What is in a name? That we call a blackberry would work as sweet.” Romeo swears his love by the Verona cell phone tower but Juliet stops him saying, “Oh! swear not by the tower, the inconsistent tower, that every minute changes the strength of its signals.” Eventually he takes leave of her and approaches his friend friar Lawrence who unites them  in holy matrimony.

Tybalt, the cousin of Juliet, guns for a fight with Romeo, unaware of his in-law status. A duel ensues, and Romeo runs his rapier through Tybalt, who becomes inert like a mobile without SIM card. Romeo, banished from Verona,  hides in Mantua. The Capulets arrange their daughter’s nuptials with count Paris. Terrified  of bigamy, Juliet runs to the friar for a solution, which he gives in a vial, being a clandestine weed distiller. He tells her if consumed, it will give her the status of a pseudo-corpse. She will be interred in her family tomb from where Romeo would pick her up later.

Alas! The friar’s SMS, explaining this ruse, is not received by Romeo and so he is unaware of the friar’s machinations. Hearing about Juliet’s ‘death’, he rushes to the tomb where he meets count Paris and kills him. He then kisses Juliet and kills himself. Waking up from the short-lived trance, Juliet sees the dead body of Romeo and overcome by   grief kills herself with a dagger.

In the last scene of the carnage all  gather including the guilt-ridden friar who after denouncement pins the  blame on the cell phones for the tragedy  The Montagues and Capulets realise, at the loss of their dear ones, that irrational business rivalry is the root cause. Needless to say they bury their hatred  and Romeo and Juliet in a common grave where the lovers would remain together like two SIM cards in a single cell phone.

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