What do men want?

Men are not far behind on the train to “destination demanding relationships”. If women are queens of contradictory wants, men are princes of paradoxical needs, quips Anusha Shashidhar.

They sigh longingly, everytime their boss passes by. But they fear she holds the whip at home too. They love it that their best friend gets them totally, but they wonder if she will turn over a shocking new leaf if they took it to the next level.

They are quick to pass judgement on the girl-next-door's choice of clothes. They frown upon the girl who cries for everything. They comment on the girl with a huge nose, and then on the girl with a wide torso. But they secretly fear they might be shunning away their soulmate with their petty complaints.

They call it a fling, they call it a play. They test our limits and then try to get away. Some wait for the real thing, but bide their time anyway. For Ms Right
Nows are aplenty, but Ms Right's the one to stay. 

Where is my Ms Right, O' where is she? They scrounge for her with their jaundiced eyes. But who is to blame them? After all, they just want to be like the Royal Swan that drank only the milk from a mixture of water and milk!

Men don't have tomes of hopelessly heart-aching romance fiction written for their delight. But that does not mean they don't have their own idea of who their Ms Right is. Sure, they rarely ever express it openly. But entertainment media and popular fiction have explored this in their own subtle ways. The debate over who's Ms Right - the goody good girl or the naughty assertive chic - has been going on for ages.
Take the Deepika Padukone-starrer Cocktail, for instance.

There's Ms goody two shoes Meera and her best friend spoilt-brat Veronica, competing for the hero, Gautam's love. Much like Betty Cooper and Veronica Lodge of Archies comics fame. That Gautam falls head over heels in love with Meera, instead of Veronica, didn’t really sit well with the audience. Most were outraged that the movie in some way depicted a spoilt guy is alright but a spoilt girl isn’t.

Truth is, women - like men - come in shades of black, white, grey, blue, pink, mauve, beige and everything in between and beyond! Sure, there are women who have the key to open their men's heart. But then there are also women who would rather strike their arrows at their men's hearts and entice them forever. Consider this: Gautam from Cocktail may have chosen goody good Meera over the spoilt-brat Veronica. But Nikhil from the recently-released Hasee Toh Phasee chose oddball Meeta over the doll-like Karishma. So it's really all about personal tastes and choices. But then again, just as with the common wants of women, men too have their common set of needs.
For long men have wondered what women really want.

A stand-up comedian's comment on what women want from men went like this: "You see, women want a lot of things. Women want a realist who's romantic. A guy who's serious but playful. Confident but humble. Career-driven but family-oriented. Smart but not nerdy. Caring, but not needy. Affectionate but not clingy. Protective but not possessive. Emotional but not neurotic. Funny but not a clown. Dominant but not domineering, and in control, but not controlling. You see what women really want is a gay football coach!” Hilarious. But true.

But what do men want? There was a joke on the three qualities men want in their wives: economist in kitchen, artist at home, and devil in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil at home, and economist in bed. [CAUTION: All the men who agree to this in front of your women, you're getting the couch tonight.] But thank god, men seem to have evolved with the times. Or have they?

A look at what some of our modern men have to say about their Ms Right can put things into perspective.

Says Rohan Nair, an application developer, "Hmmm... My Ms Right would be someone who shares and cares, but does not crib and nag. Who's protective, but not jealous."
"A dominant woman is anyday more sexy than the soft type. But she shouldn't get too bossy. A woman who's in control of her own life certainly strikes an arrow to my heart, but only so long as she is soft with the shooting," muses Nikhil MM, a business analyst.

Vivek Augustine, a media professional says, "Ms Right can be assertive, but she must also be accommodative. She must be accomplishing but she must also take care of the household responsibilities." "She must be caring," begins Koundinya Sharma, a hardware engineer. "But not too emotional," he adds, quickly.

Ha! Talk about simple expectations! Men are not far behind women on the train to "destination demanding relationships". It's just that they are a little less expressive with their feelings than women. No wonder everyone - men and women alike - seems to assume men have simple expectations from women. Well, now we know that's pish-posh.

Let's just say if women are queens of contradictory wants, men are princes of paradoxical needs! So now, tables have turned, ladies. Here's what men want. Men want a lot of things too. They want their women to be assertive, but not dominant. Confident, but not bossy. Motivating, but not pushy. Soft, but not sensitive. Intelligent, but not witty. Fun, but not funny. And sweet, but not sticky. So you see, what men really want is a gentle Super Woman! Ah... Piece of cake, right?