One hell of a manifesto

One hell of a manifesto

General elections are round the corner. There is a mad rush for filing of nomination by all and sundry. 

I am counting myself one amongst the sundry. When  notorious bootleggers, murderers and scam tainted  can file their nomination, why not me?

Forget about my qualifications and antecedents. Ask me what shall I do? Unlike other political parties, I will  concentrate only on local issues. 

Here goes my manifesto:
I shall continue and improve upon the methods adopted so far by the civic authorities. 

As of now, roads are first laid and thereafter next day they are dug for laying water pipes or optical cables. 

Sometimes both the side of road is cut to make way for improved rain water drainage system.

I will make the road contractors to execute a guarantee that the roads laid by them will last for at least one month failing which they would be given additional contract to undertake repair work. 

This would be on the lines of ‘buy one take one free’ scheme.
Citizens would be encouraged to go for road cutting in front of their house the very next day of relaying new road.
To minimise frequent road accidents, unscientific road humps at all the road intersections will be made mandatory. 

During my tenure, the accumulated dust and sand on either side of the road will never be removed.

 Pot holes will never be filled up as it will facilitate  better traffic management and would act like a speed breaker thus saving the additional expenditure on civic authorities. 

Two wheelers would be allowed to use the remaining footpath if available for faster commutation.

The residents will be allowed to throw household garbage on vacant plots and by the side of the road. 

The garbage bins wherever available will be allowed to act as a nodal point to collect plastic, card board boxes, milk covers and other items to be sold to old newspaper vendor by the urchins and official garbage collectors. 
They will be free to remove every thing from the bin and spill the remaining unwanted garbage all across the road. 

In fact to facilitate garbage disposal, people would be encouraged to throw them in the nearest storm water drains if vacant plots are not available. 
As there are no dearth of stray dogs and monkeys in the city, encourage them to roam around your house to feast on the waste foods which are thrown away like a ball by many maidservants on their way home.
In few of the localities, clean drinking water supply is regular. 
Steps will be taken to connect them to storm water drains so that entire city gets uniformly the same kind of water as else where. 
Choked drains would be allowed to overflow on to the roads for an unspecified time. 

In the mean time digging of the roads would continue all over the city for laying pipes. Builders will be permitted to dig as many bore wells as possible to tap last drop of ground water.
Water tanker contractors will have free access to such bore wells.
Uninterrupted power supply to big malls, multiplexes, big show rooms, marriage halls and bungalows of politicians and VVIPs is assured so that people coming from other places feel like being in Singapore as most corporators and politicians dream of. 

For domestic users, power cut shall continue unabated.

For them, use of candles, emergency lamps, invertors etc would be encouraged so as to give a boost to small scale industries. Additional unscheduled power cut would be imposed during examination time for students so that they can go early to bed and rise early! 

To avoid thefts or accidents on road,street lights will not be switched off during day time.

The first priority would be given to connect congested areas like lanes and by lanes of Chickpet, Balepet area with those of city market area by constructing flyover. 
All the culverts would be converted in to underpass. 
The flyovers would be constructed in such places where majority of the traffic take the service lane so that flyovers would look clean and broad. 

Traffic signals on flyovers would be re-introduced. 
By 2015, no roads should be visible, only flyovers or underpass should remain. Sky walk would be erected in places where there is least likelihood of its use.

Thus, touching upon almost all aspects of life affecting the common men in this manifesto, I propose a big applause for you for going through it with so much of patience and expectations. 

Now, what are you waiting for? Go out and vote but wait, think twice and vote. Any vote for me?

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